Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate New York
If
you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there
all day hoping that the food will swim by,
you might live in Upstate New York..
If
you're proud that your region makes the national
news 96 nights a year because Saranac Lake is
the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse
gets more snow than any other major city in the
US, you might live in Upstate, NY.
If
your local Dairy Queen is closed from October
through May, you might live in Upstate New York.
If
you get 131 inches of snow in a
week and you comment that 'winter's finally
here', you might live near Oswego in Upstate New
York.
If
you instinctively walk like a penguin for six
months out of the year, you might live, bundled
up, in Upstate New York.
If
someone in a Home Depot store offers you
assistance, and they don't work there,
you might live in Upstate NY.
If
you have worn shorts and a parka on the same
day, you might live in Upstate New York..
If
you have had a lengthy phone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might
live in Upstate New York.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
"Vacation" means going South past
Syracuse for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer...
more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to
"A/C" in the same day and back again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You install security lights on your
house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car and
your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume
to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because
the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter, and road construction.
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
Down South to you means Corning.
Your neighbor throws a party to
celebrate his new shed.
You go out for a
fish fry every Friday.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved
indoors due to frost.
You have more miles on your snow
blower than your car.
You find 10 degrees "a little chilly"
and 55 is shorts weather.
you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there
all day hoping that the food will swim by,
you might live in Upstate New York..
If
you're proud that your region makes the national
news 96 nights a year because Saranac Lake is
the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse
gets more snow than any other major city in the
US, you might live in Upstate, NY.
If
your local Dairy Queen is closed from October
through May, you might live in Upstate New York.
If
you get 131 inches of snow in a
week and you comment that 'winter's finally
here', you might live near Oswego in Upstate New
York.
If
you instinctively walk like a penguin for six
months out of the year, you might live, bundled
up, in Upstate New York.
If
someone in a Home Depot store offers you
assistance, and they don't work there,
you might live in Upstate NY.
If
you have worn shorts and a parka on the same
day, you might live in Upstate New York..
If
you have had a lengthy phone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might
live in Upstate New York.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
"Vacation" means going South past
Syracuse for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer...
more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to
"A/C" in the same day and back again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You install security lights on your
house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car and
your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume
to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because
the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter, and road construction.
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
Down South to you means Corning.
Your neighbor throws a party to
celebrate his new shed.
You go out for a
fish fry every Friday.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved
indoors due to frost.
You have more miles on your snow
blower than your car.
You find 10 degrees "a little chilly"
and 55 is shorts weather.
For the past four years we hunt on private property in the Town of Frankfort. It is a farm owed by a women who wants to harvest as many deer as possible because she is sick and tired of hitting them with her car.
I do not ice fish.
During our January Thaw the kids up at SU go running around in bathing suits.
After one 36 hour snowstorm I started clearing my front porch with the snow shovel held above my shoulders.
2 comments:
On the latter; where did you put the snow?
Gorges - threw it on the side. The snow drifts on the side of my driveway were over my head. My snow blower couldn't clear the drifts. Standing in the middle of the road, you could only see the roofs of your neighbors. Fortunately this hit us in March so it didn't last all that long.
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