And The Winner Is ...

The winner of the 1st Sig94 Caption Contest is jay son for this comment:

"Who the f**k dresses her, my dad?"

Get Out Da Way!!

The largest landslide in the  history of North America occurred April 10th at a copper mine outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. Over 165 million tons of earth dropped a half mile. There were no casualties.

I felt just like that picture after I took a "cleanser" for my first colonoscopy.

Story here.

UPDATE:
More photos

Oh,That Makes It OK.

Not only is there an Islamic etiquette, there is an art to beating your wife.

H/T Gorge's Grouse

Deplaning Check List -Caption Contest!

Libertarian Advocate suggested it and so - it's on! This photo of our shapely and  richly coiffured First Lady deserves a caption or two, please deposit same in the comments.

My offering:

Got the kids?
Check.

Got the bags?
Check.

Got yer jackets?
Check.

Got yer football stadium-sized panty line showing and yer pants stuck up yer butt crack?
Check.

We're good to go then! On to Walmart!

H/T iOTW

Size 12EEE Boot Approaches Size 00AAA Butthole

Clench 'em if you got 'em.

Rememberance: A Marine's Diary

Marine Cpl. Thomas Jones

It's a story about one man, a single 22 year old Marine killed in 1944, but it speaks for so many who never returned.

NEW ORLEANS (AP) - Before Cpl. Thomas "Cotton" Jones was killed by a Japanese sniper in the South Pacific in 1944, he wrote what he called his "last life request" to anyone who might find his diary: Please give it to Laura Mae Davis, the girl he loved.

Davis did get to read the diary - but not until nearly 70 years later, when she saw it in a display case at the National World War II Museum.

"I didn't have any idea there was a diary in there," said the 90-year-old Mooresville, Ind., woman. She said it brought tears to her eyes.

[...] The diary was a gift to Jones from Davis. They had met in the class of '41 at Winslow High School. "He was a basketball player and I was a cheerleader," she said.

Jones had given her his class ring but they weren't engaged, she said. They had dated through high school. They went to the prom together.

He made his first diary entry while a private at Camp Elliott in San Diego, a little less than a year before he was killed. He described it as "my life history of my days in the U.S. Marine Corps ... And most of all my love for Laura Mae for whom my heart is completely filled. So if you all get a chance please return it to her. I (am) writing this as my last life request."

A sniper's bullet between the eyes killed Jones on Sept. 17, 1944, the third day of the U.S. assault on the Pacific island of Peleliu (PEL-uh-loo), in Palau.

[...] Burlingame said she didn't know why she never got the diary. It apparently went first to a sister of Jones whom she didn't know well, she said.

More here.

Maxine Hits It Out Of The Park

I bought a bird feeder. I hung It on my back porch and filled It with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it, lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table…. Everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn’t even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ….. Quiet, serene…. And no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let’s see. Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care and free education, and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child’s second grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn’t speak English.

Corn flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to ‘press one ‘ to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than ‘Old Glory’ are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it’s time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

If you agree, pass it on; if not, just continue cleaning up the poop.

H/T The Fellowship of the Minds