Moonbat Math

Lesson Plan:
Grandstanding idiots who traipse around war zones in a deliberate attempt to provoke confrontations with one of the combatants should not play with bulldozers.

Materials Needed:

1. One up-armored, slow-moving, Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer;
2. One slow-witted, sloth-footed, self-righteous twit;
3. One combat zone.

This is an easy lesson to assimilate even with pre-K students, unless of course if you're the moonbat family of the twit; then you sue.

Haifa, Israel - Seven years after an Israeli military D-9 bulldozer buried American pro-Palestinian activist Rachel Corrie under sandy soil near Gaza's border with Egypt, her family has effectively put the Israeli army on trial for her death. The Corrie family is demanding a symbolic $1 in punitive damages from the state for wrongful killing and negligence.

Looking to fortify themselves with a hearty breakfast before attending the trial, the Corrie family waits for a table at a popular Palestinian restaurant where their daughter is being served as a special with eggs, chick peas and a choice of yogurt or cucumber strips.

Note: The picture of snarling, screaming, "peace activist" Rachel Corrie was taken at a February 15, 2003, Gaza "Hate-on-Israel" rally where she burns a mock up American flag. This site has the pics and an observation:

Rachel Corrie was NOT a peace activist. She was a stupid young ninny who devoted her short adult life to hate-mongering and terror advocacy. She was killed while trying to thwart Israeli army operations being carried out to prevent terrorist attacks. Apparently, her folks are not too bright, either.

Months after her demise, Rachel's parents were given a "Useful Idiots" medal by the filthy, thieving, terrorist pig, Yassir Arafatwa. It's all in the above referenced url because I cannot show a picture of that pig and the ignorant parents together. Nickie already warned me that the GNN website is not able (something about the guage of Blogspot's ground wires) to handle that much Stoopid all at once. The last time we tried, Rhod accidently dangled a participle and nearly choked when he swallowed a gerund.

DC's Music Festival Rolls On ... A Night of Requests and Dedications

It seems the world-wide fame of this blog and the artistic appreciation loosed by our Art Editor Rhod has just got us, well, bursting at the seams.

Hard to know where this gig will go, so I am just riding the wave ... Hey, there's one thing that Nancy Pelosi and I have in common. But I digress ...

So, now I get requests. And now I must confess. A lot of you know me ... DC ... as Daisy Cutter. But in truth, I am Dick Clark, and this is American Bandstand. (Slaps self.) But I digress ... again ...

Back to the program.

Years ago (about 30, actually), one summer I found myself at Estes Park at a conference called Rocky Mountain Getaway ... appropriately enough. At this conference, I met one of the people who encouraged me to get going in this Christian journey; she was a young woman -- about 18 at the time and a freshman at Vanderbilt University.

When she walked out in front of about 500 high school students on the spartan stage at the Estes Park YMCA with only a guitar, I had never heard of her. She had a simple beauty, inside and out. She had the easiest smile I had ever seen. She sang and played the guitar for about 30 minutes and talked ... just talked ... about why she believed what she believed. She captivated the room and made an impact on that day.

That was Amy Grant, before the world had heard much of her. As her life and career progressed, she experienced stardom, divorce, disillusionment from some of her earliest fans and supporters in the Christian community. Some seemed to shun her for admitting to need the grace that we all talked about.

As for me, I always liked her and found her to be real and have a grasp on how fallen mankind needs God's grace.

Recently, I happened across one of her latest, and this one goes out tonight to a friend who requested that I play it. I think it's appropriate, for this one song sums up much of her career and captures authentic grace so well.

Sorry, but embedded has been disabled, but here it is: ...Click, and listen.

Our final dedication this evening goes out to a couple who fell in love long ago, seemingly in a galaxy far, far away ... and they've lost their way.

Once upon a time, this couple had a favorite song that celebrated how the two appreciated the present and the past ... and cherished simply being together, walking in the park ... and dancing in the dark.

So, here's to them, and reminiscing about good times in the future, as well.

Now police are ordered to protect 'Doggers' indulging in outdoor sex with strangers from hate crime

The Daily Mail (UK) reports on further political correctness insanity.

Police have been ordered to stop anyone taking in part in illegal outdoor sex being abused or verbally taunted as it can cause them to suffer post traumatic stress.

An extraordinary new Hate Crime Guidance Manual has been handed to officers telling them to arrest anyone suspected of committing a hate crime against those engaged in ‘dogging’.

Although it notes that outdoor sex can have an ‘impact on the quality of life of people using these locations for leisure pursuits’ - for example dog walkers and tourists - the rights of those cottaging, cruising or dogging must be taken into account by officers.

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Foot Loose and Fancy Free

Her boots are parked back in the doorway; we picked up our soldier at the airport for the weekend. Took the day off so we can go foliage watching down to Cooperstown (yep BHofF).

I really gotta chill. This election cycle will make me crazy (ier).

Now this is a lot of fun. Enjoy your weekend!

Here's yet another reason why you must vote in November.

Talk to neighbors, drive an elderly friend, make phone calls, knock on doors. This man must be stopped.

He's Taking Off The Mittens

Obama is declaring war. Of course his generals are leaving but that doesn't stop our intrepid President! I tell you, there's gonna be hell to pay when the gloves come off and our President takes on all comers. Grab the baguettes, boil the arugula! He's going to the mattresses if the Republicans seize control of the House.

Reporting from Washington — A Republican majority in Congress would mean "hand-to-hand combat" on Capitol Hill for the next two years, threatening policies Democrats have enacted to stabilize the economy, President Obama warned Wednesday.

Speaking on Michael Baisden's syndicated radio show, Obama also made a direct appeal to African Americans about the importance of the November vote, even though he's not on the ballot himself.

The reason we won [in 2008] is because young people, African Americans, Latinos -- people who traditionally don't vote in high numbers -- voted in record numbers. We've got to have that same kind of turnout in this election," he said. "If we think that we can just vote one time, then we have a nice party at Obama's inauguration, and then we can kind of sit back and suddenly everything's going to change – that's just not how it works."

But that's exactly how many American minorities work in the Democratic urban enclaves of welfare moms and crackheads! Obama going bare knuckles? It's more like King Leonides booting a drunken Persian down a crumbling stairwell.

This. Is. Detroit!

And so it is. Come my friends, let's revisit the minority reactions to Obama's Presidential election. How visions of hard work and sacrifice filled their hearts and heads as Obama ascended the throne.

Remember the Detroit rally cry? "OBAMA MONEY!"

Obama gonna pay the gas and mortgage!

Our fearless leader, now mittenless, expounds how he will win.

"Everybody in the barbershops, the beauty shops, and at work -- everybody's got to understand: This is a huge election," he said. "If we turn out in strong numbers, then we will do fine. If we do not, if we are depressed and decide, well, you know, Barack's not running right now, so I'm just going to stay home, then I'm going to have my hands full up here on Capitol Hill."

Barbershops? How about looking in the food stamp lines -over 40 million served every month and predicted to hit over 43 million by the end of 2011! In NYC over 20% of the entire City's population is now receiving food stamps, 1.7 million out of over 8 million people. That is more than one out of five.

Days before the release of a key jobs report, Obama said most of the job losses his administration gets blamed for occurred before "any of my economic plans were put into place," and that the country is still "experiencing the hangover from the misguided policies" of the last decade.

Obama said a big voter turnout was vital, both to counter millions of dollars being spent by outside groups and the enthusiasm Republicans have demonstrated.

Speaking of infusions of outside dollars, where is Soros when you need him? The virus for the Bush derangement syndrome must have found fertile ground in the White House.

Barry will be blaming Bush until the Second Coming. Christ will meet us in the air and it will be George's fault that no one has a chute.

Barry is Busted. No Blame. No Balls. And now ... No Bounce.

Illinois Republican Party Chairman Pat Brady said Thursday that Obama has "no coattails," even in his home state.

"In fact, both the appearance of the president and Rahm Emanuel popping his head up has done a lot to motivate our base," he said.

It's like Wack-A-Barack. If he keeps popping his head up, someone is bound to smack it.

Now I'm getting all tingly.

Won't You Help?

This is truly a heart breaking story from the far away land of Sri Lanka.

Eight years ago on a warm, muggy night on the outskirts of Puthukkudiyruppu, buried beneath the rotting stump of a coconut tree, several dozen crocodile eggs hatched, sending tiny miniature reptiles into the fetid air. Their mother, Francine, watched nearby, anxious for her beautiful babies to escape the raging appetite of their father and his softball team.

Camouflaged by a bloody froth and their father's dipping sauce, nearly half her children survived and eventually discovered their ecological niche.

Pretty little Eva, who as a baby almost choked on a minnow, grew up and now ravages sheep and cattle near the sleepy little town of Tambuttagama.

Handsome Frederick, nearly picked off by a carp immediately after his birth, terrorizes cats and dogs in the garbage dumps of Megaswewa.


Megan, always the slow and clumsy one, catches rats and small children near the temples and madrasas of Karuppaddamurippu.

In their own special way, each of Francine's children have realized their potential and achieved a sense of self empowerment.

But now our story touches upon one of Francine's children who has not achieved his full potential, who struggles mightily with profound disabilities, and he needs our help:

Cliff the transgendered, cleft palate crocodile.

Cliff the Crocodile (he pronounces it Niff nah Nocconile) survives by trolling the rivers of central Sri Lanka, hoping to meet other lonely crocodiles who aren't offended by his lisp and half snout. Unable to hunt, he relies on the kindness of strangers. In the picture above he is seen carrying a lung-flavored fruit roll up given to him by members of the charitable rescue organization, "Reptiles The Size Of Mini-Vans R Our Friends."

The cost of corrective surgery for Cliff's cleft palate condition is prohibitive. Estimates range from $46,000 for a prosthetic snout to over $125,000 for a complete upper snout transplant. A team of veterinarians is on standby, ready to rub his tummy and perform the surgery required to restore Cliff to a full, productive and happy life. For just the monthly cost of a crate of delicious white lab rats, you can help Cliff realize his dreams. Think of what it will mean to Cliff!

Please contribute whatever you can to Cliffs_Dream_Snout@tasteslikelung.com.

Just imagine our Cliff with a real smile on his face! Please give generously; please give now!

For Cliff ... and the children.

White Boys Get All The Breaks

A judge in western Pennsylvania has decreed that there is a separate and unequal "white boy" level of punishment in the state penal code. The judge is _________(fill in the blank).

Black judge rejects plea deal for 'white boy'

PITTSBURGH — A black judge from western Pennsylvania rejected a plea agreement for a man accused of fighting with police during a traffic stop, saying it was "a ridiculous plea that only goes to white boys."

The plea agreement was for a sentence of three months probation. Allegheny County Judge Joseph Williams said on Tuesday that a black defendant in that situation would not have been treated as leniently.

In court, Williams told Assistant District Attorney Brian Catanzarite that he "for some reason comes up with I think ridiculous pleas whenever it's a young white guy," according to The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. "I'm just telling you what my observation is. If this had been a black kid who did the same thing, we wouldn't be talking about three months' probation."

Catanzarite responded that he was standing in for another prosecutor and didn't broker the plea deal.

"Now that the court has essentially called me a racist, I think that's unfair. I don't make offers based on race. I make offers based on facts," Catanzarite said, according to the Tribune-Review.

More here.
We are all waiting for judicial censure and removal from the bench. We are also so not holding our breath.

Read this blog or we'll kill your children. No pressure.

I'm sure that, by now, you've all seen the video produced by 10:10, the International Environmentalist extortion organization.

Well, finally, there's a rebuttal.

Did you hear about the 2$ I just made?

Sister Obama's November Surprise

Well the polls came out on Sunday and I'm now so damn depressed
That I punted Rahm on Monday when he left this awful mess.
I ain't ready to leave the White House but I do agree this time,
That impeachment could be the next stop down the line.

Well, I keep on thinkin' 'bout you, America's Midterm November Surprise.
I no longer fool the public, they can see right through my lies.
I am such a poor performer, my incompetence blows their mind,
You know I only do well when the media keeps them blind.

Will the House split down the middle? Will the House go Republican?

Will the Democrats keep a little? Will they lose the the whole floor plan?

Well I tried to fake it, I hate to say it, I just am unfit.

**doo wop doo wop**

Maintaining a musical metaphor, the blind fold is slip-sliding away. Within the next month we may witness a historic reversal of fortune for the democrats.

Gallup’s astonishing numbers and the Lake Superior congressional districts

Late yesterday, Gallup came out with new numbers on the generic ballot question—which party’s candidates would you vote for in the election for House of Representatives? Among registered voters Gallup shows Republicans ahead by 46%-42%, about as good a score as Republicans have ever had (and about as bad a score as Democrats have ever had) since Gallup started asking the question in 1942.

However, Gallup also shows the results for two different turnout models. Under its “high turnout model” Republicans lead 53%-40%. Under its “low turnout model” Republicans lead 56%-38%.

These two numbers, if translated into popular votes in the 435 congressional districts, suggest huge gains for Republicans and a Republican House majority the likes of which we have not seen since the election cycles of 1946 or even 1928. For months, people have been asking me if this year looks like ’94. My response is that the poll numbers suggest it looks like 1994, when Republicans gained 52 seats in a House of 435 seats. Or perhaps somewhat better for Republicans and worse for Democrats. The Gallup high turnout and low turnout numbers suggest it looks like 1894, when Republicans gained more than 100 seats in a House of approximately 350 seats.

Read the rest here.

Why Italy is Cool - #118

The Palio in Siena

This event dates back to the days when Pontius Pilate was flogging cheap roadside Greek sandals on the Appian Way.

It's cool because:

1. It's run in the city square.
2. Each horse.rider combo represents a district of the town.
3. Insults fill the air like the aroma of cat pee at my sister Stella's condo.
4. The riders ride bareback.
5. The event is cause for many feasts and celebrations.
6. The USA nannies would never allow such a race in... say... Detroit.

New Terrorist Cannon

GNN EXCLUSIVE - From the GNN Tel Aviv Bureau, a report that several hours ago Israeli Defense Force checkpoint personnel were approached by a Palestinian insurgent, later identified as Ey bin Phartine, who tearfully asked for assistance in removing a new form of terrorist artillery from his body - developed in Gaza as the Arafat Butt Gat. Israel authorities have labeled this device the AssCan.

IDF explosive ordinance specialists were summoned to the checkpoint and the would-be terrorist was transported to a heavily fortified location where the above x-ray was taken of the projectile. Subsequent debriefings revealed that the ignition system is gas operated and was designed to launch the missile from a praying position - toes, knees, hands and forehead touching the launch or prayer pad.

Further examination showed tattooed windage markings on the suspect's heels and a peep sight attached to his scrotum.

UPDATE: Tragedy struck only moments ago when the terrorist complained of sharp stomach pains after eating lunch. He was lead to a concrete evacuation chamber where sounds of flatulence preceded a powerful explosion. IDF officials suspect that felafels were involved in this premature detonation.

Stay tuned to GNN for all your information needs!

Ironically, this is my favorite Trini Lopez film of all time

My wife (I forget which one) once asked me:

"Do you believe that your life will flash through your mind at the time of your death?"

I responded:

"I hope not. I never want to sit through the Ice Capades again."

Hat tip to Billy Ockham

Nationwide Alert

Man Says Cocaine Cops Found In His Buttocks Isn’t His

A search of a 25-year-old man following a traffic stop Wednesday morning revealed one bag of marijuana and one bag of cocaine in the driver’s buttocks, according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office. The driver said only the marijuana belonged to him. ...

"When the bag (with 27 pieces of rock cocaine weighing 3.5 grams) fell to the ground, Roberts immediately said, according to the report, 'The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is.'

GNN wishes to alert its readers that a strange phenomena is sweeping the nation - Spontaneous Butt Crack Generation(SBCG). Due to the sensative nature of this report, no graphic images will be used.

After speaking to some of the nation's top police officials, GNN can now advise it's readers that they should check their personal possessions, particularly those that are stored in extremely close proximity to or in their body, to ensure that SBCG has not occurred.

That is all.

Bridge Out

If we could number the reasons why Barack Obama is in The White House, we'd have a fair picture of a society's normative mistakes, wishful thinking and reality's revenge. List the reasons for yourself - Celebrity-ism, the dubious "upside" of racialism, affirmative-action's moral bewilderment, the charm of youth and elite education, glamor, the cult of the expert, solutionism, civilization and its discontents; that kind of stuff. All insubstantial, with a life-span limited by the stony path of history, hard times and incredulity. Liberalism itself is a bridge between reality and fantasy; Obama imagines himself, and his fans do too, as a bridge between reality and the inconceivable.

Obama as President is a symptom of geriatric liberalism's softening of the mind, even, to some degree, the Conservative mind. For fifty years, a screwball version of utopianism has leaked into the foundations of American's aspirations, and flooded them with fantasies of abolishing social problems with charismatic leaders, public money, coercion, education, utilitarian economics, technology and freedom unrestrained by ethics. Now the real world and angry Americans are scratching and snarling outside their door and the Progs are plugging their ears.

They think you're just pissed off, and your friendship can be bought. You could argue that this reaction and liberalism's text are products of a decadent form of Enlightenment thinking. If every observable problem has a practical solution, consideration of the unseen is ridiculous, even though you have to pretend that it matters. You formally pursue the possible and ignore the good because "the good" is overly complex and relative. No one knows what it is, anyway. Man is only an animated blob of matter. Materialism advanced by benevolent Big Government is the only means to secure human well being. First of all, this isn't proven, and second, it's a conclusion and not an argument. In this case it simply assumes that anger is material discontent, The multi-purpose Poverty Principle.

I don't think Obama can grasp this problem. Hardly anyone believes him anymore. His election was a last-chance swoon by a disgusted and resentful America. He's not bright enough to see it, nor are his court, his advisors, the leftish Beltway hacks, or the ideological tramps who were seated in Act III of the dreary production staged by the New Left from the 1960's on. They're about to be clobbered by the curtain before bleating some idiot line from the distant past.

Obama's only skill, or handlers' skill, is to rhetorically shape a kind of sticky romanticism that excites young and old liberals, and which briefly encouraged worried moderates that the liberal rot in America could be arrested by a smart, clever, objective problem-solver. What they got was a clueless, incompetent-to-the-bone idealogue ,backed by a compliant clot of nutcases and for-sale pols in The Capitol.

That's old news now. The current regime is bad enough on its own, but only a sideshow to the collapse of the liberal model for mankind. If Obama was really smart, he'd ride the horse in the direction it's already going. But he isn't, and won't. They aren't and won't. I was around to witness the collapse of one social order and its political superstructure. It's happening again, and I couldn't be happier.

There was a time when Time magazine offered content above a fourth grade reading level. Here's an example from 1947

"People have discovered by bitter experience that when man starts out on his own to build a society by his own power and knowledge, he succeeds in building something uncommonly like Hell; and they have seriously begun to ask why." Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."

----------------

"The thing to do is to get a man at first to value social justice . . . and then work him on to the stage at which he values Christianity because it may produce social justice. . . . Only today I have found a passage in a Christian writer where he recommends his own version of Christianity on the ground that 'only such a faith can outlast the death of old cultures and the birth of new civilizations.' You see the little rift? 'Believe this, not because it is true, but for some other reason.' That's the game."

The lecturer, a short, thickset man with a ruddy face and a big voice, was coming to the end of his talk. Gathering up his notes and books, he tucked his hornrimmed spectacles into the pocket of his tweed jacket and picked up his mortarboard. Still talking—to the accompaniment of occasional appreciative laughs and squeals from his audience—he leaned over to return the watch he had borrowed from a student in the front row. As he ended his final sentence, he stepped off the platform.

The maneuver gained him a head start on the rush of students down the center aisle. Once in the street, he strode rapidly —his black gown billowing behind his grey flannel trousers—to the nearest pub for a pint of ale.

Clive Staples Lewis was engaged in his full-time and favorite job—the job of being an Oxford don in the Honour School of English Language & Literature, a Fellow and tutor of Magdalen College and the most popular lecturer in the University. To watch him downing his pint at the Eastgate (his favorite pub), or striding, pipe in mouth, across the deer park, a stranger would not be likely to guess that C. S. Lewis is also a best-selling author and one of the most influential spokesmen for Christianity in the English-speaking world.

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Elenore

When this song came out I was head over heels with my high school sweetie. We broke up during my sophomore year in college. "Elenore," came out during the infatuation period. And it was my song as it captured the way I felt about this girl before I discovered how such a vision of beauty could turn into a needy, whining...

Anyway, it's a carefree, fun song by the Turtles.

"Elenore" was released in a 1968 album, "The Turtles Present the Battle of the Bands." The band's first hit was "It Ain't Me, Babe" in 1965. By 1970 the Turtles were toast.


The death of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper in a 1959 plane crash had rock and roll musicians of that era obsessed with the notion of dying while flying to an engagement. Even worse, they feared the possibility that they would survive the crash only to starve to death in the mountains or desert while awaiting rescue.

So rockers developed a survival scheme; hire an additional singer who wasn't really necessary for the act; if the band survived the crash, there was a designated food source - a side of singer so to speak - that would keep the roadies going for at least two weeks. They identified this potential life saver by assigning a musical instrument for him/her to play. But it had to be an instrument for which no talent at all is required and therefore very easy to replace the artist/sandwich.


Of course that instrument is the tambourine. If you can smack yourself repeatedly in the face, you are guaranteed success with the tambourine. Fortunately the Turtles were never in a plane crash and it was years before the walking, talking, tambourine-shaking Meal Ready to Eat (MRE) singer even knew what was planned for him. He also realized why the band kept plying him with Twinkies and Moon Pies.

Look at the MRE shaking and dancing behind the lead singer in the Elenore video and tell me that a good hollandaise sauce , some parsley and maybe a baked potato wouldn't do wonders for this person.

Rock on.

Interestingly enough, Buddy Holly and the others only grabbed a charter flight because the heating system failed on the bus they were riding. It was so cold on the bus ( it was early February) that supposedly one of the drummers got frostbite. Don McLean wrote in "American Pie" that this was "the day the music died."