January 27, 2015

Asking For Trouble

I find Cadbury Creme Eggs somewhat revolting (I'm a semisweet chocolate guy myself) but my wife and daughters will go berserk when they find this out:
Hershey's has blocked British-made Cadbury chocolate from entering the US. 
The chocolate company struck up a deal with Let's Buy British Imports to stop imports of Cadbury products made overseas, reports Tatiana Schlossberg at The New York Times.

The company will also stop importing British Kit Kat bars, Toffee Crisps, and Yorkie chocolate bars.

Fans of chocolate manufactured in Britain say it tastes better than American-made chocolate.

A Hershey's representative told The New York Times that the company has the rights to manufacture Cadbury chocolate in America using different recipes, and that importing British chocolate is an infringement.
Right around Easter my wife would buy those things; she and our daughters would open the foil and gleefully suck that sugary, sweet milky crap out of them. I still shudder at the thought. But these were Cadbury Eggs, not Hersey Eggs.

There's going to be trouble.

Heck, my youngest daughter had an imaginary friend that she named Cadbury. She was teased mercilessly by her older sisters about it but Cadbury remained a close friend for several years.

Personally, I do not care for Hersey's chocolate, it's too sugary. If I can have my druthers, I prefer Dove dark, semisweet chocolate.

Story here. I have a gut feeling that Hersey's is gonna get their ass kicked.

Wiggle Your Fingers

Emily and Dave receive detailed instructions from Sister Mary Francis
on the proper use of hand puppets to consummate their wedding vows.

January 26, 2015

Winter Weekend Project

The circulation pump for my hot water baseboards went kablooey this weekend.  This Bell & Gossett pump was installed when the house was built in 1960. To replace this with the same type of pump would be $300.

A friend who does HVAC gave me some advice and we ended up with this. It cost only $85 and does the same work. Also it does not need to be lubricated.

So my friend spent some time with me on Saturday morning and we're all nice and toasty again. The empty pump flange you see next to the new pump is still there after I tore out the downstairs zone and replaced it with electric heat about 25 years ago.

The hardest part was getting on my knees to bleed the cast iron baseboard heaters. They are also 55 years old so most of the bleeder valves were corroded and needed to be replaced. I had to use the gel knee pads and even then it wasn't pleasant.

A half hour after the job was done the downstairs toilet overflowed....

Not The Answer

After many years of study and observation, I have finally arrived at several definitive responses which should never, under any circumstances, be given voice in the presence of your spouse.

When asked, "What was the song they played at your wedding?" never answer "I Finally Got A Man by Melanie and the Meal Tickets."

When dining out on your wedding anniversary and the waitress asks for your order, never answer, "Menopausal Meatloaf slathered in Stony Silence Sauce."

January 25, 2015


Look at what this asshole does when visiting India in honor of their country when their anthem is played...

And what does he do when the American national anthem is played?

Now That's Cold

Pieter Schelte's wedding in 1942
Heil Hitler asshole.
Leaders of Jewish communities and Holocaust memorial groups in Britain and the Netherlands have reacted with rage and despair at the arrival in Rotterdam of the world’s biggest ship, the Pieter Schelte, named after a Dutch officer in the Waffen-SS.

The vice-president of the Board of Deputies of British Jews, Jonathan Arkush, said: “Naming such a ship after an SS officer who was convicted of war crimes is an insult to the millions who suffered and died at the hands of the Nazis. We urge the ship’s owners to reconsider and rename the ship after someone more appropriate.”

Esther Voet, director of the Centre for Information and Documentation on Israel (Cidi), based in The Hague, said that the timing of the ship’s arrival, shortly before Jews were targeted and killed in Paris and the 70th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, was “a coincidence, I’m sure, but a sign of the times. We lost our battle to have the ship’s name changed, and we are left eating dust.”

Story here.

Under direction of the Nazi SS, Pieter Schelte was director of the Dutch East Company which was charged with the "colonization of Eastern Europe." He was responsible for picking up Dutch men who were put to forced labor in Nazi-occupied Baltic territories in Eastern Europe; hundreds lost their lives.

Schelte hated Jews and was quoted as saying "The German race is model. The Jewish race, by comparison, is parasitic ... therefore the Jewish question must be resolved in every Aryan country." Some 70 percent of the Netherlands' 140,000 Jews perished in the Holocaust.

Schelte allegedly joined the resistance before the war ended but he fled to Switzerland were he was apprehended (by whom?) in 1944. Maybe he did have a change of heart but his wedding was celebrated in Nazi publications and prominent Nazi's were in attendance. I also think that more than a few guilders changed hands in covering his ass - this guy had some bucks.

The Schelte is the world's biggest ship, over 1,250 feet long and 407 feet wide.

The Waffen SS
The Waffen-SS (Armed SS) was created as the armed wing of the Nazi Party's Schutzstaffel (SS, "Protective Squadron"), and gradually developed into a multi-ethnic and multi-national military force of Nazi Germany.

The Waffen-SS grew from three regiments to over 38 divisions during World War II, and served alongside the Heer (regular army) but was never formally part of it. Adolf Hitler resisted integrating the Waffen-SS into the army, as it was to remain the armed wing of the Party and to become an elite police force once the war was won.
Yeah, I'd name the world's largest ship after him. This POS died in 1981; obviously his family is trying to rehabilitate his name. After the war he did not dedicate himself to humanitarian purposes to atone for the hundreds he helped kill. He pursued money. I doubt any of it went to the families of the men he killed.

There's No Place Like Home

After furiously clicking the heels of his sparkly ruby red sneakers, Sid
finally realizes that he can never return home to his parent's basment

January 24, 2015

Hey! Are We Talkin' To You?

If you go down to the zoo today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go down to the zoo today
You'd better go in disguise!

With furtive looks and silky paws
These furry guys are jammin'
Because today's the day the
Meerkats check out their new cell phones.

I got a new Galaxy S5 last week.
It is so cool.

January 23, 2015

That's Politics

In 2013 State Senate leader Malcolm Smith and two co-defendants attempted to buy the Republican nomination for the NYC Mayoral race (de Blasio won). Their conversations were secretly recorded and this is what they had to say according to a 2013 report on NY political corruption:
That’s politics, that’s politics, it’s all about how much. Not about
whether or will, it’s about how much, and that’s our politicians in
New York, they’re all like that, all like that. And they get like that
because of the drive that the money does for everything else. You
can’t do anything without the f**king money.
A good shake up is long overdue. NY politicians (Andy Cuomo, you listening?) cannot be trusted to do it. The US Attorney for the Southern District of New York decided to do something.
U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara said the Thursday-morning arrest of Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver goes to “the core of the problem” in state government corruption: “lack of transparency, lack of accountability and lack of principle, joined with an overabundance of greed, cronyism and self-dealing.”

[...]“For many years, New Yorkers have asked the question, ‘How could Speaker Silver — one of the most powerful men in all of New York — earn millions of dollars in outside income without deeply compromising his ability to honestly serve his constituents?’...” Bharara said.
You got that straight. And whenever light was brought to bear on the feeding cockroaches, the politicians snuffed it out... like the Moreland Commission.
In a line that might send a chill through certain corners of the Capitol, Bharara noted that his corruption work was ongoing.

“We will keep at it, because the men and woman of the FBI and of my office still subscribe to the quaint view that no one is above the law, no matter who you are, or who know, or how much money you have,” he said. “And so our unfinished fight against public corruption continues. You should stay tuned.”
Story here.

More on Andy Cuomo's interference with the Moreland Commission here and here.

The Moreland Commission's preliminary report here.

Even the NY Times was offended by Cuomo's political shenanigans so it really had to stink to high heaven. This really is a good article.

Planning Ahead

"It's a long trip, I'll need a snack."

January 22, 2015

Sheldon Silver: Time To Pay The Piper

~The House That Greed Built~
The NY State Assembly

New York Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, one of the most powerful politicians in the state, has been arrested and charged with taking $4 million in bribes.

Silver was taken into custody around 8am Thursday and later charged at Manhattan federal court.

Silver is a Democrat from Manhattan's Lower East Side and a longtime leader of the Assembly's Democratic majority. The arrest comes just a day after Silver shared the stage with Gov. Andrew Cuomo during his State of the State address.

Story here.

This has been a loooong time coming. And this after NY Gov. Cuomo disbanded the Moreland Commission that was investigating political corruption. Nice one Andy.

Wonder who you were protecting. If Andy Cuomo were a condom, half the state would be pregnant.

Sheldon Silver is not the only one who has been locked up for corruption.

January 21, 2015

It's Here

Jeff excitedly instructs his groomsmen on how to extract the
 contents of a package just delivered from Bride-In-A-Can.

January 19, 2015

Another "Rare" Instance Of Muslim Outrage

In an incredibly rare instance of Muslim outrage, tens of thousands of Mohammed's followers scream, "We are all wee wee'd up!" and urinate on the front lawn of the El Maserati Zhoom Zhoom mosque. The mosque's imam stated that the overpowering stench reminded him of his last pilgrimage to Mecca.
Scenes of chaos broke out across the Muslim world today as hundreds of thousands of protesters burned flags and effigies in anger over the French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo.

Protesters gathered in the main market square in Bannu, Pakistan, chanting 'Death to the government of France', before setting fire to dozens of French flags and an effigy of the former French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

As the anger mounted, some demonstrators even set fire to an inverted Italian flag, which they mistakenly thought belonged to France.

A second effigy destroyed in the protest was said to represent the editor of the Charlie Hebdo, the magazine which was subject to a brutal attack earlier this month, after two masked jihadist gunmen stormed the Paris headquarters and killed 12 people.

The dramatic scenes came as more than 2,000 Iranians protested outside the French embassy in Tehran, shouting 'Death to French' and urging the ambassador to be expelled.

Hundreds of thousands of people also gathered in the Russian region of Chechnya, amid growing anger over the publication's depiction of the Prophet Mohammed.
Story here:

January 18, 2015


Now that they're married, she misses the spontaneity.
She misses the long, lingering kisses.
She misses the slow walks in the park.
But she really misses the hood of his F-150.