In The News

They Took A Village

Harkening to Hillary Clinton's child-rearing advice advocated in her book, "It Takes A Village," The Iranian government took the husbands of an entire village and killed them. Every. Single. One. Now all the families formerly supported by these now dead husbands/fathers are totally dependent on the Iranian government, who conveniently ignores them.

Every man in Iranian village 'executed on drugs charges'

Every man in an Iranian village has reportedly been executed by the government on drug charges.

Shahindokht Molaverdi, the vice president for women and family affairs, was arguing for increased provision for convicts’ families when she made the admission.

“We have a village in Sistan and Baluchestan (province) where every single man has been executed,” she told the Mehr news agency.

“Today their children are potential drug traffickers; either because they will seek revenge for the deaths of their fathers or because they will need to financially provide for their families, as a result of lack of support by the government.”

In a related development, Iran announced a significant increase in the importation of hemp rope.

#LittleBrownBobbleHeadsMatter

In the time-honored tradition of dumbing down Western Civilization by reporting on the hormonal fluctuations of whiny ass bitches that should be completely ignored the

Daily Mail reports MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry has walked off her eponymous show, citing frustrations with the network's treatment and a loss of control over the program's content.

Harris-Perry, whose show airs on both Saturdays and Sundays from 10am to noon, is refusing to host this weekend after being sidelined for two weeks.

In a letter to her colleagues published on Medium, she wrote that she was deemed 'worthless' by the network, and fought back by saying: 'I will not be used as a tool for their purposes. I am not a token, mammy, or little brown bobble head.'

The International Association of Token Mammies and the Society of Little Brown Bobble Heads for Justice did not return any calls.

The Fat Man Sings

Today in a surprise move, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie gave Donald Trump his political endorsement/support for the 2016 Presidential election as well as twelve cases of Little Debbie Fudge Rounds, 400 bottles of Yoohoo chocolate drink, four boxes of Mallomars, one slightly used laparoscopic gastric band (autographed) and his entire collection of Chiclets boxes.

Endorsements usually don’t matter much, but Chris Christie giving his nod to Donald Trump shocked the political world and will bolster a Trump campaign that has grown from a madcap insurgency to a serious threat for the Republican nomination.

Most immediately, the New Jersey governor’s endorsement instantly changed the subject from Trump’s debate performance Thursday night, when Marco Rubio got the best of him.

Christie accentuates the Trump brand of bully-boy toughness. He further validates The Donald and paves the way for future endorsements.

With Christie's support wrapped up, The Donald now has enough sugar-laden snack foods to give all of Chad, Sudan, Ethiopia, and Somalia Type II diabetes.

Developing: In preparation for the Illinois primary, a wee little spokesman for the Keebler Elves squeaked that their Chips Ahoy! division is prepared to "bury Chicago up to their assholes in cookies."

UPDATE: no really, seriously ... more on the Christie Kreme endorsement here. Seems like Boy Rubio got  Christie's knickers all wadded up with a condescending voice mail.

Yoga Pants

Can Trump Transform the White House?

A Republican Trump victory this fall would transform the White House:

From this...

To this...

After looking at this it would appear that a move into the White House may be a step or two down for her.

I'd Break It's Legs First

H/T iOTW

The Biggest Losers

Backing the Jebster as an allegedly strong contender for the Presidency is a good way to lose your shirt. The biggest donors to the Jeb! campaign threw about $40 million into the pot.

Big-time political donors usually know they’re gambling on risky business, yet even so, the all-or-nothing nature of political campaigns means most of them go home empty-handed – since only one candidate can win, after all. The 2016 election began with roughly 20 major candidates—most on the Republican side—and at least 10 of them had super PACs able to raise six- and seven-figure donations from wealthy backers. Jeb Bush was the undisputed king of the super PACs.

Before he dropped out of the race on Feb. 20, Bush had the benefit of more super PAC money—roughly $120 million – than the next four candidates combined. His super PAC—Right to Rise—seemed likely to be the best funded in American history. Little good all that money did. In three primary states, Bush’s best finish was fourth. A campaign swollen with money never clicked with voters.

Just a few are mentioned here:
Hank Greenberg dumped $10 mil in the Bush Black Hole.
Miguel Fernandez flushed $3.2 million down the Jeb Crapper.
Ray and Nancy Hunt fumbled $2.4 big ones out of Presidential bounds.
Richard and Nancy Kinder tossed up a $2 million campaign air ball.

What a shame.

Will someone please tell me that these folks are just simple, civic-minded citizens trying to facilitate the continuance of good government? I need the laugh...

American Capitalism Smacks Boris In The Face

Bernie Sanders and every college student in America should have this tattooed on their butts.

Back in 1989, card-carrying Communist and Politburo member in the Soviet Union Boris Yeltsin visited Johnson Space Center, and then took a tour of a grocery store in Clear Lake, Texas. According to a Houston Chronicle reporter, Yeltsin was far more affected by the grocery store visit than he was the space center. He apparently was stunned by the aisles and aisles of supermarket products, and told the other Russians in his entourage that if Russians saw what American grocery stores looked like, when in their homeland they had to wait in line for most everything, “there would be a revolution.”

Yeltsin chit-chatted with customers about what their groceries cost, what they were buying, and was in absolute amazement at the whole experience, saying, “Even the Politburo doesn’t have this choice. Not even Mr. Gorbachev.”

He was dazzled by the fact that grocery stores were everywhere, and that they even offered free samples. A year or so later, a biographer wrote that on the plane ride from Texas to Florida, Yeltsin couldn’t get the vision of the endless food supply out of his mind, and lamented how different things were for his own countrymen.

According to wikipedia, Leon Aron, quoting a Yeltsin associate, wrote in his biography, “Yeltsin, A Revolutionary Life” (St. Martin’s Press, 2000): “For a long time, on the plane to Miami, he sat motionless, his head in his hands. ‘What have they done to our poor people?’ he said after a long silence.” He added, “On his return to Moscow, Yeltsin would confess the pain he had felt after the Houston excursion: the ‘pain for all of us, for our country so rich, so talented and so exhausted by incessant experiments.’”

He wrote that Mr. Yeltsin added, “I think we have committed a crime against our people by making their standard of living so incomparably lower than that of the Americans.” And then, in his own autobiography, Yeltsin wrote about the experience at the grocery store himself, which reshaped his entire view on communism, ultimately leading to leaving the Communist party.

“When I saw those shelves crammed with hundreds, thousands of cans, cartons and goods of every possible sort, for the first time I felt quite frankly sick with despair for the Soviet people,” Yeltsin wrote. “That such a potentially super-rich country as ours has been brought to a state of such poverty! It is terrible to think of it."

More here.

When The Wife And I Get Silly