Little People In The News

But He Still Needed A Kiddy Seat

As a loving fiancée, James Lusted would often treat his bride-to-be to a nice evening out.

But during a recent meal with partner Chloe Roberts, things took a turn from the romantic to the ridiculous after a waitress mistook the 3ft 7in dwarf for a child and brought him a colouring book and crayons.

It was only when the Harvester staff member heard the 26-year-old's deep voice that she realised her embarrassing blunder.

It wasn't so funny when he left just a wee little tip for the waitress.

But It Was Just A Little Indiscretion

A Spanish woman who cheated on her fiance on her hen night with a dwarf stripper and got pregnant thought her secret was safe - until she gave birth.

Spanish website Las Cinco Del Dia reported that while the unwitting husband was convinced that the child was his throughout her pregnancy, the jig was up when their son was born in a Valencia hospital with dwarfism.

Las Cinco Del Dia's report said: "Neither her closest female friends or her family knew she had sex with the midget stripper but once she had her son in her arms, she broke down and confessed what had happened.

On the plus side, he'll be able to wear his toddler clothes until he's in college.

But I Feel Short

Federal prosecutors in Philadelphia unsealed an indictment Friday accusing 45-year-old Eric C. Opitz of bilking Medicare out of more than $535,000 by claiming he was a dwarf who needed human growth hormone.

In reality, according to the indictment, Opitz was 450 pounds and 6 feet, 3 inches.

[...]He sold, it, prosecutors say, at something like $450 for each kit. He found his customers through a brazen ad on Craigslist, according to the indictment.

So it's social security fraud, mail fraud, trafficking in human growth hormone and anabolic steroids. Something tells me it won't be just a little prison time.

Iraq - Another Exercise In Futility

There is a reason why strong despots are (were?) the rule in the Middle East; they kept a lid on the Islamic nut cases that wanted to impose Sharia law on everyone. History will decide if the stupidest thing we've done in the last 100 years was to depose Saddam Hussein.

And now that they're killing each other in droves again, do we want to go back? Invest more lives, more treasure in the Muslim trailer park? We invested over 4,000 lives and $25 billion in rebuilding the Iraqi security forces so they could take care of themselves. For what?

The American Conservative has a compelling article on why the Iraqi security forces- some 900,000 men - has folded before an ISIS invasion of no more than 50,000. Entire battalions (63 so far) have melted away before the fundamentalist onslaught. Tens of billions of dollars of military equipment were abandoned and are now being used by terrorists.

The reasons? Culture and corruption.

Culture - it's how they have been socialized for centuries. Iraqis are not Americans and will never be. They are not Christians nor have they been exposed to Christian values. They do not think like we do and they do not act like we do. It is insanity to train them like we do.

...loyalty was the biggest factor in the Iraqi failures. After their own families, the soldiers and leaders were loyal to their tribes and then their religion, he said. “Iraq as a nation falls at the bottom of the list. Combine this with lack of cohesion, unity, loyalty, and camaraderie among themselves, and you have an organization that will disintegrate under pressure,”

Corruption - Bakeesh is a way of life in the Middle East and under Islamic law, rape isn't such a bad thing either.

Leaders looked out for themselves first by making side deals involving food, water, and even electricity if they were sitting on top of a generator. I got the first two battalion commanders I worked with fired for corruption that involved taking money out of soldier’s salaries and the rape of local Sunni women by the Shia soldiers. I understand what we consider corrupt in our culture was not in theirs, and I was learning to live with it. But I told them if it starts directly involving the welfare of their men, then I would come after them.

There's more than enough blame to go around. Our generals certainly may have had a hand in it also as they apparently were more concerned about greasing their own careers rather than reporting the facts.

“Claims by Petraeus, Dempsey, and other U.S. generals of Iraqi effectiveness were always exaggerated or false,” said (Ret.) Col. Doug Macgregor, an author and Army consultant who served in the first Gulf War. “The generals were simply cultivating their Bush administration sponsors in pursuit of further promotion.”

And we're inviting the same kind of failure in Afghanistan.

Secret Service Agents Injured At LA Fund Raiser

Several Secret Service agents were treated for minor injuries after slipping and falling in a massive outpouring of vaginal juices during a fundraiser for President Obama held in the back yard of actress Gwyneth Paltrow's Los Angeles residence.

One eye witness stated that Ms. Paltrow introduced the President with lavish praise, fairly gushing over Obama's achievements and expressing her desire to give him absolute authority over the affairs of all Americans.

As she concluded her introduction, witnesses noticed a semi-viscous, creamy liquid streaming down from between her legs, spilling onto the granite pavers and spreading towards the canape tables.

Then, as she handed the microphone over to the President, saying, “You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly,” the stream became a downpour, flooding the backyard, shorting out the public address system and panicking the attendees.

Secret Service agents rushed into the encroaching pool to protect the President as its kerosene-like odor caused them to fear it could be highly flammable. The combination of slippery juice and freshly mown grass was too much for the agents' leather-soled Ferragamo footwear.

At least three agents slipped headlong into the deck stairs and one was overpowered by fumes as he tried to apply an ICD (Improvised Corking Device) to Ms. Paltrow. 

As he was being loaded into one of several responding emergency vehicles, the agent moaned that he couldn't believe he was injured in a "liberal pussy tsunami."

Ms. Paltrow was treated for dehydration at the scene with bottles of Evian, vaginal desiccants and restraining orders.
Story here.

H/T Weasel Zippers.

Nothing Has Changed

Take a look at the Christians preparing to be killed by lions in the Coliseum.

Then bear in mind that the arena is packed with howling liberal democrats.

Trunk Assassins

I couldn't help but think of Geico's "15 minutes could save you..." commercial when I read this:

A Manhattan man was sprung from an upstate prison Thursday after serving 15 years — only to be shot 15 minutes later by a thug he snitched on, law-enforcement sources told The Post.

The 33-year-old man was released from Otisville State Prison at 9:45 a.m. with a train ticket for a trip to a halfway house in Manhattan.

But when he got outside, someone in a white Hyundai offered him a ride — an offer he quickly accepted. 

After about two miles, the car pulled over and a second person hopped out of the trunk, pulled out a gun and fired two shots at the newly-freed man, police sources said.

The victim is in stable condition and the suspects are in custody.

The gunman had a beef with the victim for snitching on him, sources said.

These idiots waited 15 years to kill the snitch - that's 15 years to plan ahead, to carefully script their scheme, to masterfully craft a pernicious and deadly plan. They picked him up from prison in the Hyundai O'Doom, drove away from the scene, caught him completely unaware, shot him twice at point blank range and still couldn't put him down.

There is an obvious need for trunk assassin training; perhaps a community college course. I am sure the gubmint would pick up the cost.

Democrats Hate American Prosperity

Jobs?? Jobs?? We no got to show you no stinking jobs!

From the Weekly Standard:

Seems Canada is tired of waiting – and waiting – for a decision on the Keystone pipeline and has come up with an alternate plan for moving the oil to market. As Bloomberg reports:

It would be Keystone on steroids, more than twice as long and carrying a third more crude. Its end point, a refinery in the blue-collar city of Saint John, New Brunswick, operated by a reclusive Canadian billionaire family, would give Canada’s oil-sands crude supertanker access to the same Louisiana and Texas refineries Keystone was meant to supply.

And:

… if you’re a fed-up Canadian, like Prime Minister Stephen Harper, there’s a bonus: Obama can’t do a single thing about it.

The alternative pipeline will:

... also prove a blow to the environmentalists who have made central to the anti-Keystone arguments the concept that if Keystone can be stopped, most of that polluting heavy crude will stay in the ground.

Finally, since the new pipeline will be built in Canada, the economic benefits from its construction will be felt there.

Ebola - Obama Owns It

That's right Barak, you own it.

"Americans shouldn't be concerned about the prospects of contagion here in the United States, short term," Obama said on NBC's "Meet the Press." "Because this is not an airborne disease."

Obama stressed that the disease can only be transmitted through bodily fluids. And once the person carrying it is isolated and run through a tight protocol, it isn't difficult to contain. 

He admitted that Ebola is "breaking loose" in western Africa, due to poor quarantines and "people aren't being trained properly."

Quote here.

What's interesting is that the interweb tubes seemed to have been sanitized a bit, "scrubbed" if you wish, for this remark. This quote is from a September 7th posting on The Hill. Most every other quote I can find is about Obama fighting Ebola - but most dated no later than September 16th.

It costs about $1,400 to fly round trip from Liberia to the USA. The number of flights departing from Liberia has recently been drastically reduced.

The problem is this, how many people have already entered the country from this festering dump of a nation? Now  that five airports are being heavily monitored (we hope!), will desperate Ebola victims find other airports for entry?
From the above chart you can see that Atlanta, Miami and San Jose have the most flights from Liberia. International travel is not easy to monitor. This past August alone, Miami Airport processed 933,219 international passengers, over 12 million for this year so far.

While it is difficult to get 2014 West African native-born immigration statistics into the US, there are other sources that supply the number of immigrants from Liberia, Sierra Leone and Guinea - the three countries where Ebola continues to spread uncontrollably. Between 2008 - 2012 the US Census Bureau reports that there were a total of 117,000 immigrants from these countries into the US. That's an average of 23,400 immigrants each year - almost a thousand a month from these three countries.

Really

This is Bruce Jenner, the 1976 Olympic gold medalist.

The Kardashians blew the manhood right out of him.

In The News

Transsexuals: The Other White Meat

A transgender woman murdered and cooked by her husband in their swank Australian apartment was a “high-class” prostitute using profits from sex work to support her family in Indonesia.

Mayang Prasetyo was charging up to $435 an hour for her services, marketing herself online as a “top high-class Asian shemale.’’

The married couple at the center of the weekend’s grim murder-suicide in Brisbane had both recently spoken to family and given them no indication of problems in their relationship.

She was quite a dish. Now she's a side dish.


Now You Can Have Two

After more than 20 years of research, a team of scientists are bioengineering penises in the lab which may soon be transplanted safely on to patients. It is an extraordinary medical endeavour that has implications for a wide range of disorders.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
Silver bells and cockle shells
And a few honkin' johnsons.


Carnival Survival Cruises Now Being Offered

A group of Cuban migrants drank their own urine and blood after the engine of their homemade boat failed, leaving them adrift in the Caribbean for three weeks without food or water, according to survivors who reached the United States this week. 

“I’m happy I made it, alive, but it was something no-one should have to go through,” said Alain Izquierdo, a Havana butcher, and one of 15 survivors of the 32 passengers.

The last "Poop Cruise" was so successful that an "All You Can Drink Blood and Urine Cruise" is scheduled for the holidays.


This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

While they're not quite sharks with laser beams attached to their heads, the U.S. Navy's new fleet of unmanned war boats could still cause quite a scare.

The waterborne drones can guard U.S. ships and autonomously swarm enemy vessels, according to the Office of Naval Research (ONR). The Navy successfully tested the system over a two-week period in August on the James River in Virginia.

Unfortunately the entire program has been placed in jeopardy. The International Brotherhood of Sharks With Laser Beams Attached to Their Heads, Local 195, has filed an unfair labor practices suit against the Department of the Navy.