If you're a monkey. it doesn't get any better than this.
Dope-Smoking, Menstruating Monkey Study Got $3.6 Million in Tax Dollars
The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), a division of the federal government’s National Institutes of Health (NIH), has spent $3,634,807 over the past decade funding research that involves getting monkeys to smoke and drink drugs such as PCP, methamphetamine (METH), heroin, and cocaine and then studying their behavior, including during different phases of the female monkeys’ menstrual cycles.
After a full day of stretching the boundaries of scientific knowledge to dizzying new heights, zoo officials had to use a triple dosage tranquilizer gun to get this stoned, menstruating monkey to drop the bag of Cheetos.
UPDATE: Nancy Pelosi has just introduced legislation in Congress for the Simian Voting Rights Act.