Pages

January 13, 2011

I need your advice!

Tibetan Monks from the Tibetan Gaden Shartse Monastery in India (they
are exiled from Tibet) work on a traditional sand painting called a sand
mandala at the Cozmic Cafe. The mandala is dedicated to Deity Manjushri,
the Buddha of Wisdom. The monks' visit raises funds for their monastery
foundation and, they hope, educates locals about Buddhist and Tibetan culture.

This evening, the lovely Mrs. Goomba notified me that she has invited these four Buddhist Monks to dinner next week. They are all carnivores, but the lovely Mrs. Goomba is a raw food vegan and atrocious cook. I have been assigned cooking duties. I need your help. What should I prepare for this international pow-wow?

This is not a joke. I need some sensible advice. Help!

23 comments:

Just a conservative girl said...

Buttered chicken and a hearty rice or grain.

The butter sauce can be prepared with tofu or veggies for your wife.

subrosa said...

I'd take them out to a local restaurant which can provide for all. Then back home for coffee. No hassle, except to your wallet.

Bill Nye said...

Homemade cream of leek and potato soup, pan fried seasoned quail and asparagus.

Thank you kindly for taking note of my blog.

LL said...

The Goombas are Italian by heritage. I'd serve something Italian and allow the carnivores to eat something from the old country (veal, perhaps) while the lovely Mrs. Goomba sticks to pasta and salad.

Maybe a nice chiante or table wine to compliment the meal?

Jg. for FatScribe said...

i'd go Indian. There are some amazing veggie dishes, and the always awesome chicken dishes! can't miss. and, btw, i've been to a few of these ceremonies and they are very cool. especially with the throat chant/sing thing happenin' in the background.

Jg. for FatScribe said...

and the sweeping away of the sand at the end is very moving. even us Christianized westerners get it.

Quite Rightly said...

Nickie - I'm not an expert, but I have a little experience with this. Your guests will be very polite in eating what you serve, so you are right to be careful. I'd be hesitant to offer meat and would use tofu and seitan instead (bite sized) in dishes with vegetables and barley or rice. I'd also stay away from fruit. Think Chinese-type food for a cold climate. A nice vegetable broth would make a good addition to the meal. Splurge on the tea. Buy a nice, fragrant bulk black tea and make it in a big teapot. Keep your guests' teacups full.

Coffeypot said...

Yack on a stick? Rack-O-Yack? Oh! You wanted serious…take’em to the Waffle House.

WoFat said...

Check with my friend at the following URL:

http://tibetanaltar.blogspot.com/

DC said...

Goomba, how did your wife invite them and then assign you cooking duties, son? I say a few loaves of bread for her ... and fish for the monks ... and the Gospel for all.

The_Kid said...

Nickie, as I understand it, Tibetan Monks are actually Vegans but not so strict as they will eat dairy.

Therefore:

Vegan sushi for appetizers complete with wasabi and ginger root sliced thin enough to resemble obama's brain. Cooked carrot and asparagus, avacado, celery, cilantro, tofu, cream cheese, and even some feta cheese along with the standard seaweed and seasoned rice and assorted seeds for rollups, Have soy sauce and oyster sauce available for your guests to apply to taste.
Slice up a little democrat as well, as there is never any meat content only the illusion of.

For a main course, I suggest Southwestern Omelettes made from 3 eggs, Ortega green chilies, and Newmann's own extra sharp cheddar.
After cooking, apply some sauteed Melange de La Foret mushroom and diced Roma tomato.

Desert: Creme Brulee of course.

They'll probably want to watch Team America: World Police, Unrated, Uncensored version after dinner and for that, I'd have some truffles on hand. If you don't have any pigs that can find the truffles, then go with a vanilla ice cream made in Moscow in the spring and drape it with 2 teaspoons of Frangelica.

Simple I know but monks just get uncomfortable if you go to too much trouble.

The_Kid said...

Dang, forgot the cashews for the sushi rollups.

Teresa said...

You have some really good suggestions but here it goes: How about a Middle Eastern Salad with either imitation or real feta cheese? Here's the recipe - http://www.suite101.com/content/raw-food-salad-recipe-a41212

I would go with something like LL pointed out for the main dish. Veal sounds like it might be a good choice.

You are an awfully good man to be doing this for your wife. God Bless you young man :)

Guy Average said...

Maybe they should ask that ouija board they're making what to make for dinner...

just sayin'...

Opus #6 said...

I recommend some nice, thick, juicy steaks. Maybe rib eye or T-bone. Barbeque in the back yard, that way you look manly as you do the cooking. Mrs. Goomba can prepare her veggies in the kitchen and you can serve them as a side dish, but if the steaks turn out well, nobody will notice the side dish.

Hey, you said they are carnivores. And you should try to feed your guests what THEY want. Also a nice steak gives them a taste of America, which is why I assume they are visiting you in America.

j summ said...

i agree with opus. beef, it's whats for dinner. blacken some shrimp and ice down some buds, add potato salad or baked beans. i know it's january, but eat like it's july.

momma can stick to the salad, it'll be her loss.

Nickie Goomba said...

This is why I love the Internets. Thanks everyone. Y'all have given me options I never considered.

I'll let you know what happens. Somehow I must work a few Hostess Snowballs into the mix.

LL said...

---right, and Ho Ho's for dessert.

Barco Sin Vela II said...

Moon Pies and RC's.

Terry said...

haha...snoballs.
followage so i find out what happens.
followage?

Rhod said...

Goomba is trying to curry favor with two incompatible diets...and that's also my advice.

Toaster 802 said...

If in doubt, let the Colonel supply the dinner. Skip the veggies and double up on the taters and gravy. Then as a lovely parting gift, a roll of Charmin.

Or Buffalo wings. Hot. Make sure they are crispy to soak up the sauce.

Hey, what do you want outta me. We counted ourselves lucky to get out of the house between Christmas and Easter living near Lake Erie. Take out was a real treat. Especially if it was original recipe...

Martok K'Trelan said...

Aren't all Buddhist monks male? Take them out to a place where the wife would not want to go. Take lots of one dollar bills with you.