June 10, 2011

Stop The Monkey Business!

If you're a monkey. it doesn't get any better than this.
Dope-Smoking, Menstruating Monkey Study Got $3.6 Million in Tax Dollars

The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), a division of the federal government’s National Institutes of Health (NIH), has spent $3,634,807 over the past decade funding research that involves getting monkeys to smoke and drink drugs such as PCP, methamphetamine (METH), heroin, and cocaine and then studying their behavior, including during different phases of the female monkeys’ menstrual cycles.

After a full day of stretching the boundaries of scientific knowledge to dizzying new heights, zoo officials had to use a triple dosage tranquilizer gun to get this stoned, menstruating monkey to drop the bag of Cheetos.

UPDATE: Nancy Pelosi has just introduced legislation in Congress for the Simian Voting Rights Act.


Anonymous said...

I'm drooling. Waaaay too many comic set-ups in this posting. Less is more.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Hey Dude, pass the dobie.

sig94 said...

BigVic - I set 'em up, you knock 'em down.

sig94 said...

Odie - Gimme dem Cheetos,

Kid said...

Another case of money laundering of course.

Politician: But hey, if we cut that program it wouldn't even be pissing in the ocean with the budget we got... (and how would we be able to steal 3.6 mil with our buddies... our Mob bosses...)

Has no one seen Goodfellows or The Godfather !
Jumpin Catfish !

The government doesn't give a crap about drug punks !


sig94 said...

I would like to know how much weed was purchased and who actually got to smoke it. The monkeys or the researchers?