April 25, 2014

Good Time Girl

From comes a story about criminal defecation:
Oswego, NY -- An Oswego woman accused of falsely reporting being sprayed in the eyes with Pine Sol later defecated on herself and smeared feces inside the police station, deputies said.

Angel Lackey, 34, of 5350 State Route 104, Lot 29, was charged with misdemeanor falsely reporting and incident and criminal tampering, deputies said.

Thursday afternoon, Oswego County deputies went to investigate Lackey's complaint that someone sprayed her with Pine Sol during a disturbance in Scriba. Deputies say that wasn't true.

As Lackey was being interviewed about the incident, she defecated on herself, deputies said.

She then smeared her feces on the window of the interview room at the Public Safety Building, deputies said.

She was arraigned on both charges and sent to the Oswego County jail with bail set at $1,000 cash or $2,000 bond.
Angel is also available for parties.


Gorges Smythe said...

Girls just wanna have fun.

Fredd said...

All of Angel Lackey's antics can be attributed to Republicans, if the truth be known.

When Ms. Lackey was in kindergarten, those evil Republican budget cuts resulted in cut backs on finger paint purchases.

Since Ms. Lackey had a 'can-do' attitude, she soldiered on and made due with the next best alternative to finger paint: butt paint.

As time marched on, Angel found that this form of communication was both effective...and cheap. Who needs an iPhon to send those stuipd texts when you have nature's perfect form on pencil lead?

Damn Republicans.

Kid said...

Fredd, You're on it like vomit !

WoFat said...

Did the investigating officer say - wait for it - "Oh Shit!"?

David Carpenter said...

Stools and can be material for protected speech. Crapfitti, if you like.

We'll take this to the highest court in the land.

Smearing is a misdemeanor, a victimless crime.

Dr. Ive Phaster

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

What a crappy story.