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May 20, 2016

In The News


It Ain't Over Until Until Juanita Says It's Over
Juanita Broaddrick does not subscribe to the ancient axiom, "Be Quiet, Lay Down, Play Dead." Bent Willy raped her and that's that. Now after all these years and the hush-hush treatment by the media, she finally has an advocate, the Trumpster. Undoubtably Donald Trump's campaign managers will put this to good use: if Hillary is elected, will the American people accept a White House First Rapist? Will up armored chastity belts become a thing in DC? Will the US Marshal Service have to implement an Intern Protection Program?

Hey, When Ya Gotta Go...
A reporter for Arizona TV station KPHO was arrested for taking a dump on the front lawn of a family he was reporting on. Seems that KPHO's  Jonathan Lowe had wrapped up a story regarding the religious sacrifice of a poodle in Patrick Thompson's BBQ smoker (I am not making this up! ~sig94) when he had the urge for a Snicker. Yes, in a KPHO exclusive he dropped a Lowe Custom Squatting Snicker in Thompson's front yard. A neighbor reported the Snicker sighting and police were notified. Was evidence collected? I don't want to know...

Sudden Surge in Carhartt Jacket Sales
NYPD officers shot a knife wielding maniac nine times and found that the suspect's Carhartt jacket stopped four of the NYPD 9mm bullets. NYPD cops are concerned but jubilant executives of Carhartt jackets immediately reported a massive sales spike in Detroit, Chicago, Cleveland, St. Louis, Damascus, Caracas and Tijuana.

Federal Judge Ruling Stuns Legal Profession
Federal District Judge Andrew Hanon issued controversial rulings that have left American juris prudence practitioners aghast.
  • The Earth is round(ish).
  • Santa Claus does, in fact, not exist.
  • The Obama Administration lied about illegal immigration. Wrist slapping imposed.
  • It may be illegal to defecate in someone's front yard in broad daylight.



7 comments:

Gorges Smythe said...

Imagine if the guy had been wearing TWO Carhartt jackets! lol

sig94 said...

Gorges - The Army's Central Command in FL has just issued an order to wrap all combat vehicles and helicopters in Carhartt jackets.

Always On Watch said...

The Trumpster ain't gonna back off from making the point, over and over again, that Slick Willy is a rapist and the HillaryBeast his enabler.

sig94 said...

Always - those are just the icing on the Clinton Criminal Cake.

Always On Watch said...

Sig94,
Agreed.

Many who will be voting in this election -- "the younger set" -- have zero idea as to what a shirt chaser and demeaner of women that Slick Will has been for his entire life. Trump is going to make the unaware aware~

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

You might like to check this out: http://www.ascandaladay.com/

sig94 said...

Thanks Odie.