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December 13, 2009

For That Very Special Occasion

Jolly Old Saint Nick Looking Through Your Bedroom Window


We love Christmas. But we realize that tempers can flare over this frantic holiday. So we here at Goomba Central have prepared this list of non-blasphemous stress relievers for that very special occasion. They're from "A Christmas Story", shaken in the air and proven to make you feel better. I feel better just reading them to myself...


"You wart mundane noodle"!

"You schottin' shiskafaskafa!"

"You snort tunger"!

"Lay munger snacka shacocker"!

"Notafingah"!

"You filthy piston helkin"!

"You whip mauker"!

"Smelly wump wustler"!

"Grab dump fratin' house stickel fifer"!

"You bladder pussnot grapah"!

"You dortin' donobado"!

For that VERY SPECIAL OCCASION, reserved for some mechanical device that chooses to malfunction at the worst moment, memorize this:

"Ah, blasted! You two blurt rattle flat camel flirt! You blotta battle beast jerdoff brat! Stanna once bradda fradda ratta ratta smelly wump wussler! Drab dump frattin house stickel fifer!"

You feel better already, don't you?

16 comments:

The_Kid said...

Pink Floyd put that to music years ago

WomanHonorThyself said...

lol..yup OOOOOOOOOOOHhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm! heh:)

Opus #6 said...

That's one way to blow off steam, lol!

Chris W said...

Rhod, you forgot one

F...U...D...G...E!

:-)

Velcro said...

I feel like I'm reading in tongues!

Mike said...

And if I´m not mistaken, that tapestry of profanity is still hovering somewhere over Lake Michigan.

Rhod said...

Chris, F..u..d..g..e will lead to soap poisoning.

Mike, work with it like some men work in oils or stone.

TK, which one's Pink?

Anonymous said...

Yes, get it out of your system.

Anonymous said...

No more egg nog for you, Rhod ... Secretia, how much did he tell you he drank?

sig94 said...

I shot the last man who said my wump wustler was smelly. I can't help it, the zipper rusted shut.

Rhod said...

Sig, sounds like you NEED some soap poisoning. Try Lifebuoy.

DC, Secretia is protective of secrets.

Starsplash said...

I wish I sounded like that when I cussed.

I think I should memorize this.

Rhod said...

Starsplash, memorize away you filthy piston helkin!

Red said...

Better be careful. You'll put your eye out.

Rhod said...

Maybe I'll just break my glasses, Red

Starsplash said...

Rhod LOL that is funny.