We love Christmas. But we realize that tempers can flare over this frantic holiday. So we here at Goomba Central have prepared this list of non-blasphemous stress relievers for that very special occasion. They're from "A Christmas Story", shaken in the air and proven to make you feel better. I feel better just reading them to myself...
"You wart mundane noodle"!
"You schottin' shiskafaskafa!"
"You snort tunger"!
"Lay munger snacka shacocker"!
"You filthy piston helkin"!
"You whip mauker"!
"Smelly wump wustler"!
"Grab dump fratin' house stickel fifer"!
"You bladder pussnot grapah"!
"You dortin' donobado"!
For that VERY SPECIAL OCCASION, reserved for some mechanical device that chooses to malfunction at the worst moment, memorize this:
"Ah, blasted! You two blurt rattle flat camel flirt! You blotta battle beast jerdoff brat! Stanna once bradda fradda ratta ratta smelly wump wussler! Drab dump frattin house stickel fifer!"
You feel better already, don't you?