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December 19, 2011

A Dirt Nap For Our Buddy Kim


Reprising his most famous role, North Korean Dictator for Life Kim Jong-Il has now assumed the same ambient temperature as his famous look-alike puppet. Unfortunately for Kim, the puppet will fare much better physically over the next few months than Dear Departed Leader.

Things You Wanted To Know About Kim Jong-Il But Were Afraid To Ask.
  1. He wanted to breed giant rabbits to feed the people of NorK.
  2. Claimed to have invented the hamburger.
  3. Had the unofficial title of the "Central Brain."
  4. Wrote six dreadful operas.
  5. Had over 20,000 movies in his personal library; his favorites were "Rambo" and "Friday The 13th"
  6. Loved to roller blade.
  7. Was very partial to roast donkey.
  8. NorK propaganda states that when Kim was born, a double rainbow came out and Spring simultaneously arrived.
  9. He built an entire city, Kijong-Dong, for PR purposes. No one has ever resided there.
  10. Kidnapped a South Korean film director and forced him to make a Godzilla movie.
But perhaps Kim Jong-Il is best known for the dramatic reduction in North Korea's light pollution. North Korea is one of the world's best nations in which to view the night sky and myriads of stars due to the fact that there little or no electricity in much of the country as seen in the following satellite photo. Of course the nation is outlined in white else you could not see it at all.


Thank you, thank you Dear Departed Leader!

17 comments:

banned said...

The Dictator is dead, long live the Dictator.

WoFat said...

Damn, you're picky.

sig94 said...

banned - go ahead, keep it up. His son and successor, Jong-Un, will be sending frozen donkey steaks to your door.

sig94 said...

WoFat - some guys blog like they're looking for a fatwah. I do it looking for 3 kilos of kimchi.

Doom said...

I do pray for his soul, that perhaps at the last minute he realized God. Much like the recent atheist who died. But in the darker parts of my heart, I sure hope he simply went to his just reward. While all of us deserve death, some among us go all out in earning it. Besides, wrong as it may be, I am a little jealous of God's love. One less dick tator, one more chance for NK to die terrible death and be reborn as a good nation, and perhaps a chance for a devastated people to come out of the muck.

Andy said...

Wow, take 'em away history. Ya know, of Dante were still kicking around this side of the sod, he could devote an entirely new ring of hell for this tin pot despot.

The Underground Pewster said...

It will probably be a while before all the sorry history comes out.

el chupacabra said...

People will think you're kidding about those little known facts.

Anyway, it's about time he croaked.

Kid said...

he also shot 11 holes in one his first and last golf game. This was an actual official N Korea news release.

If you're interested you can read their news here and search on past ludicrous propaganda.

sig94 said...

Doom - it is not for us to determine his eternal residence. But I forward all his mail c/o Mr. S. Lucifer, Infernal Regions.

sig94 said...

Andy - and this Ring would also lack electricity.

sig94 said...

Pewster - I'm waiting for the purges. That'll generate a whole new crop of desperate NorKs fleeing the country. Then we'll really get some of the nasty low down on Kim.

Of course the Nork media will still sing his praises, just like the MSM here worships Obugger and His Merry Band of Incompetents.

sig94 said...

el chu - I was surprised too. Those "facts" are right from ABC mews. The NorK media say he died from overwork. He "cared" himself to death. I'll bet he was working on a nine year old ... ahhh nevermind.

sig94 said...

Kid - another story is that double rainbows continuously shot right out of his ass and that pots of Lucky Charms™ were found wherever they touched ground. That's the only thing that kept the population from starving.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Our leader wants that for us.

Sugu said...

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sig94 said...

Odie - he's trying like crazy, that's for sure.