Waste Of Time

The discussions over how to humanely put a convicted murderer away have gotten out of hand. If you do it quickly enough the condemned feels no pain.

All this drug and gas crap where you have to wait twenty minutes to see if the perp is still breathing... *sigh*.
And if he still is, then what?
Hit him with a shovel?
Suffocate him with an Execution Pillow?
*Medium density filler, do not remove tag under penalty of law unless you are the consumer.*

From the WaPo:

Oklahoma adopted a new backup method of execution Friday, making nitrogen gas the way it will execute inmates if lethal injection cannot be utilized.

Gov. Mary Fallin (R) signed the law Friday, less than two weeks before the U.S. Supreme Court is set to hear a case challenging the way lethal injections are carried out in Oklahoma.

This change makes Oklahoma the third state over the last year to substantially alter its methods of execution amid an ongoing shortage of lethal injection drugs. However, the two other states to change their execution protocols expanded the use of backup options that were already in place: Utah made firing squads the default alternative last month, while Tennessee did the same thing with the electric chair; both methods had been available for some inmates, depending on when they were sentenced.

As the drug shortage has persisted in recent years, states with capital punishment have considered reviving older methods, but most of these suggestions have gone nowhere. Unlike the laws in Utah and Tennessee, the new Oklahoma law is the first time a state has added a method that was not already on the books.

Here's my suggestion if the execution needs to occur within a correctional facility:

1. Take a small, secure room (no larger than  10' X 10') with a drain in the center; allow for a quarter bubble slope from the walls to the drain. Drain aperture should allow for passage of hair, small pieces of bone and brain tissue. 
2. Line the walls with waterproofed sandbags.
3. Cut a gun port in one of the walls approximately 12" X 12".
4. Place an execution chair in front of the gun port, facing away, no more than 8" from the port.
5. Shave the back of the condemned's head, use Magic Marker to make bull's eye just over the brain stem.
6. Strap the condemned to the chair, close the door.
7. Sometime during the next half hour an executioner (think state lottery here) walks up to the port and shoots the condemned in the medulla.
8. Remove the body.
9. Hose down the walls, let dry.
10. Plug any holes in the sandbags with Gorilla Tape™.

If state law allows the execution to take place in an outdoor setting (see Utah), ignore steps #1 - #6 and #8 - #10 and increase the state lottery to five winners.