Putin's Poopiekaakaa Assassins

These people are messed up. Just as two nukes have fried the Japanese (resulting in anime, sex dolls, boob pillows), seventy years of communism have turned Russian brains to ...

From the UK Daily Mail:

Russian agents have been going to extreme and peculiar lengths to harass US diplomats and ambassadors in Europe, a report claims.

Frictions between American envoys and their Kremlin-based counterparts are nothing new.

However, a number of US intelligence officials have told the Washington Post that the intimidation techniques have escalated to new heights in recent years - both illegal and bizarre.

On Monday, State Department spokesman Elizabeth Trudeau confirmed John Kerry has officially complained to President Vladimir Putin about the incidents.

One diplomat claims a Russian official broke into his home and defecated on his carpet.

Perhaps Putin just bought a controlling interest in ServPro?

Others say it is common for Russian intel to break into ambassadors' homes simply to rearrange the furniture.

The Red Martha Stewardovich Makeover Division is feared throughout the world.

During President Obama's first term, a Russian agent assassinated an envoy's dog in his home.

And others say they are victims of the 'standard' intimidation tactics - being followed by agents, seeing intel at events they weren't invited to, or having Russia pay media to write negative articles.

The allegations were made in a series of secret memos, seen by John Kerry and other intelligence officials, and described to the Washington Post.