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October 29, 2009

Top 10 Most Odious Phrases in the English Language: #3 Dude*

Number 3 is:

"Dude"* -- We put an asterisk beside this juvenile grunt, for it ascends (or is it descends?) to the odiousness short list when used by any one older than 21 in any of the following three ways:


a) As a filler such as "like" or "um", i.e., "Dude, is the election next Wednesday?";


b) As an exclamation, i.e., "Dude! My unemployment check bounced;" or


c) As a proper noun, say, in lieu of the name given by one's parents: "Congrats on your Ph.D., Dude."


Note, usage of "dude" as a common noun or blogger pseudonym only reached #37 on our list. So, rest easy. And if you are feeling down for your prior and/or repeated, impermissible usage of the term, just relax ... and party on, dude. And if this Wayne's World approach won't cure you, well, try a little "scared straight" action, as I provide as a public service the actual translation of usages a), b), and c) above:


"I am the most stunningly ignorant person you have spoken with in the last 5 minutes (at least since the prior 30- or 40-something said "Dude") ... and worse than than that, I really want to be 19 again, and I want young people to think that I am a with it, cool, hip, swell, ass-crack-tat-sportin', neat-o, veritable George McFly. I wish young people liked me, so much so that I don't notice that educated adults shun me like Larry 'Wide Stance' Craig in an airport bathroom."

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing."

WomanHonorThyself said...

yo Dude..luv your comments around the blogosphere..they're almost as snarky and funny as mine..ha

Anonymous said...

I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? Sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about the Dude here - the Dude from Los Angeles. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude. The Dude, from Los Angeles. And even if he's a lazy man - and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide.

Anonymous said...

Woman, you gotta stop slappin' DC's earhole.

Anonymous said...

The King of the Dudes...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dude

Opus #6 said...

Well, I *am* into the brevity thing. So when I hear the term "Dude", I instantly translate it into "dud".

Doom said...

I use "dude" the same way I use "like" (As in: I am, like, happy, dude!), but only when I want to imply everything I have just said is false, everything about it is corrupt or stupid, when something cracks me up, and when I want to play the idiot (which I do well, given a chance, mind you). Ha!

I like your notion, but around one of those bends I got lost, went over a cliff, hit a tree, and sploded. *Maybe it is, like, too early, dude?

Sorry, but I had to laugh.

*(number 3, by the way)

Unknown said...

Dude, this is so wrong...

Anonymous said...

Opie, I just think of duh.

Anonymous said...

Corrupt & Stupid? Doom, dude, those are my attorneys.

Anonymous said...

Whoa... Arby...Dude

Rhod said...

Being an East Coast guy, I never comprehended West Coast surfer lingo. I think "Dude" originated there, didn't it?

Doom said...

No, dude was a term used regarding cowboys, hired pokes, who wouldn't work hard or any other way I think. It was not a kind term... If I remember rightly.

Surfers resurrected, I am guessing, to mean someone who just surfs, doesn't work, sort of... A wave poke, give or take. I wonder if even most of them knew what it meant?

Anonymous said...

Doom, permission granted to continue using "dude" as you have stated. Actually, I used the term myself to accentuate the "dudeness" of a particular situation.

Woman ... I see you working. Dude!

Nick, dude, you're a madman.

All you dudes get the picture. Now that we have cleansed ourselves, let's get back to adult conversation, shall we?

Rhod said...

Doom, I know the cowboy usage...I believe in that context it meant someone dressing for, and playing the role, of a cowboy.

Kid said...

Nickie, you used ALL my stuff. I have nothing to add.

Soloman said...

"Who ordered the double cheese and sausage?"

Mr. Hand ruled...

Anonymous said...

Sol... Touchdown!!