That's A Real Bad Moon Rising

I see a Supermoon Rising?

Will the March 19 'Supermoon' Trigger Natural Disasters?
On March 19, the moon will swing around Earth more closely than it has in the past 18years, lighting up the night sky from just 221,567 miles (356,577 kilometers) away. On top of that, it will be full. And one astrologer believes it could inflict massive damage on the planet.

That's not an astronomist, that's an astrologist speaking here - one of the horoscope guys who writes lame prognostications in such general terms that even inanimate objects base their non-lives upon them. Like this one:

“Communicate your feelings to friends today, especially if you're disappointed in the way they're treating you. The void moon gives you a chance to tie up loose ends, either in a social situation like this or with a team you belong to. Saturn allows you to put your thoughts together, but don't be too inhibited to let the truth come out.”

Now, what does that mean? Whatever you want.
Back to Supermoon.

Richard Nolle, a noted astrologer who runs the website astropro.com, has famously termed the upcoming full moon at lunar perigee (the closest approach during its orbit) an "extreme supermoon." When the moon goes super-extreme, Nolle says, chaos will ensue: Huge storms, earthquakes, volcanoes and other natural disasters can be expected to wreak havoc on Earth. (It should be noted that astrology is not a real science, but merely makes connections between astronomical and mystical events.)

In light of the horrific events in Japan, there are perhaps some effects of an extreme perigee that do not relate to Saturn's void fourth house. From the Daily Mail:

The powerful tsunami that today slammed into Japan's eastern coast comes just two days after warnings that the movement of the moon could trigger unpredictable events on Earth.

Astrologers predicted that on March 19 - a week tomorrow - the so-called 'supermoon' will be closer to Earth than at any time since 1992, just 221,567 miles away, and that its gravitational pull will bring chaos to Earth.

Others on the Internet have predicted it will cause further catastrophes such as volcanic eruptions and earthquakes.

Coming just three weeks after the quake which devastated Christchurch in New Zealand killing hundreds, this latest disaster will only add fuel to their fire.

[...]However, scientists dismiss this as utter nonsense and that although it makes a good photo opportunity for astronomers it has no impact on Earth.

Dr David Harland, space historian and author, said: 'It's possible that the moon may be a kilometre or two closer to Earth than normal at a perigee, but it's an utterly insignificant event.'

Professor George Helffrich, a seismologist at the University of Bristol was equally dismissive.

'Complete nonsense. The moon has no significant effect on earthquake triggering.

'If the moon triggers "big" earthquakes, it would trigger the many of millions of times more "small" earthquakes that happen daily. There is no time dependence of those; hence no moon effect.'

In any event, it gives me an opportunity to slide a great song into the post.
Right about here.

Enjoy this in the comfort and safety of your backyard reinforced-concrete supermoon shelter.