October 14, 2013

Crazy Cop Stuff

This is dated, but it reminds me of a stop I did once back in 1986 when I was assigned to Patrol, 3rd Platoon, as a Sergeant. People have no idea of the crazy kaka that cops wander into. Someday I may do a post about it. Anyway, enjoy:
“We spotted the green Hyundai Elantra traveling at approximately five miles-per-hour in the passing lane with a huge shower of sparks coming from the rear of the vehicle. As we got closer we noticed that the rear end of the vehicle was dragging on the ground due to the fact that there were no rear tires or axle on the vehicle,” said Lt. Sullivan of the Canton Police. “After the vehicle pulled over, we approached it and found that the driver was not only drinking a can of beer, but that he was not wearing any pants and that he had urinated on himself.”

After not one, but two, brief foot chases, Francis Fasher, 45, of Foxboro, was placed under arrest.

“There were also two female passengers in the back seat,” stated Lt. Sullivan. “One of the females was asleep, partially clad. The other was extremely hysterical. At that time, we believed that she might have been under the influence of PCP, due to the fact that she claimed there were mice biting at her and climbing on her.”

Because of the size of the two women, police were unable to pull the women out of the rear doors of the vehicle. After members of the Canton Rescue Squad cut the roof off the vehicle, and with the help of a crane supplied by Shaugnessy Crane, the women were lifted out of the car. Police estimate the weight of each woman was between 300 and 450 pounds.

The rest of the story here.

Q: Why is this man laughing?

A: He is an idiot.

H/T to Joann.


Kid said...

No doubt that differential assembly is breathing a Lot easier somewhere.

Opus #6 said...

Size matters.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

His golden dong went a peeing.