After many years of study and observation, I have finally arrived at several definitive responses which should never, under any circumstances, be given voice in the presence of your spouse.
When asked, "What was the song they played at your wedding?" never answer "I Finally Got A Man by Melanie and the Meal Tickets."
When dining out on your wedding anniversary and the waitress asks for your order, never answer, "Menopausal Meatloaf slathered in Stony Silence Sauce."
When asked, "What was the song they played at your wedding?" never answer "I Finally Got A Man by Melanie and the Meal Tickets."
When dining out on your wedding anniversary and the waitress asks for your order, never answer, "Menopausal Meatloaf slathered in Stony Silence Sauce."
3 comments:
Referring to your spouse as "my trophy wife" is a better option and won't get your manhood severed from your torso.
The only problem with your advice to a bachelor is... we have to try it all. Thanks for the heads up though. At least I have some of the rough country mapped out... I presume from experience? :)
LL: trophy wife, ball 'n' chain, same same. After 40 years of marriage nobody listens to these little gems anyway.
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