In The News

Chicago Boasts of  August Death Total: Only 90 Dead

The democrats have been in control of the City of Chicago since before Lincoln hit puberty. Chicago has had more homicides this year than NYC and LA combined.

[...]Chicago police said there were 90 homicides in August, and a total of 472 people shot in 384 separate attacks. The city has not had that many murders in one month since August 1996.

As he has several times before, Police Supt. Eddie Johnson said a relatively small group of repeat gun criminals are responsible for the the vast majority of gun violence in Chicago.

As I have said several times before, a relatively small group of career politicians are responsible for turning Chicago into a crime infested shithole.


Pamela Anderson Donates Her Breasts to Anti-Porn Initiative
Pamela Anderson today announced that she was allowing Mona and Lisa (the names of her breasts) to be given permanent residence at the Society for the Prevention of Internet Ta Ta Display here in Los Angles.

[...]Anderson labels porn as something for “losers.”

“Simply put, we must educate ourselves and our children to understand that porn is for losers— a boring, wasteful and dead-end outlet for people too lazy to reap the ample rewards of healthy sexuality,” the duo wrote.

The duo mentioned previously, Mona and Lisa, will be starring in a soon to be released movie  titled, "Porn Is For Losers, So Lick Me Losers," produced by by Big Chested Bimbos, Inc.


Weiner Told To "Put That Thing Down Or So Help Me."
Wand waving Weiner was warned by wanton woman in a way that wasn't wimpy. Despite this advice, Weiner persisted in presenting on social media his cotton-clad ovipositor in juxtaposition with the year old results of a successful fusion of gametes.

The mystery brunette at the center of Anthony Weiner's latest sexting scandal told him to 'be careful' on social media - just two days after they first exchanged messages. 

The disgraced ex-politician started sending lewd pictures to the woman - including one in his underwear lying next to his son - despite her explicit warning. 

The raunchy exchanges, published by the New York Post earlier this week, have now prompted his wife Huma Abedin to leave him and child services to investigate.

Weiner's wife, Huma Abedin, has put the broom to Weiner's Fruit-of-the-Loom. In response, Weiner stated, "I just wanted to run it up the flag pole and see who saluted it."

Speaking of saluting the flag...


Colin Kaepernick Says He Was Just 'Tired'
The NFL is very, very not happy with the antics of 49er's quarterback Colin Kaepernick.

Bleacher Report's Mike Freeman had conversations with seven unnamed front office executives around the NFL. Look at what was being said:

"I don't want him anywhere near my team," one front office executive said. "He's a traitor."

"He has no respect for our country," one team executive said. "F--k that guy."

"In my career, I have never seen a guy so hated by front office guys as Kaepernick," one general manager said.

If that wasn't enough, the personal dislike for Kaepernick will permeate into team-building decisions:

There could be some executives who have no issue with Kaepernick, but I doubt there are many. Each executive said he believes Kaepernick will likely get released by the 49ers—and never play in the NFL again.

When asked how she felt about Colin Kaepernick, media queen Paris Hilton said, "Gee, I'd love to f--k that guy.