November 27, 2016

A Death Worse Than Death

For a limited time only you can now receive 76 hot houri babes for the discounted price of  ... martyrdom.

That's right, 76 beautiful, gorgeous virgins that will delight your dead ass for the price of 72.

Hurry, this offer expires soon!

From The American Thinker:
Last month, when the battle for Mosul began, Islamic State "caliph" Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi reportedly promised four extra Houris (supernatural, celestial women designed for sexual purposes) – atop the other 72 promised by the prophet Muhammad – to all jihadis who die (are "martyred") fighting the infidel forces, according to Arabic media accounts.

Al-Baghdadi did this during an extra-"fiery" sermon wherein he recounted 15 hadiths and three stories dealing with the Houris in the context of the original Muslim conquest of Mosul, circa 637, at the hands of Muhammad's companions (the sahahba). After promising his followers that "blood will run like rivers in the [forthcoming] battle," al-Baghdadi declared: "All, without exception, will enter paradise as martyrs. Moreover, you will enter paradise with four more Houris than other martyrs. For just as you stand by me now, so will they stand by you, or under you, or above you, so that you might forget what will happen to you by way of violence, death, and degradation in this war."


LL said...

Four extras.

A generous offer if ever I've heard one.

If I hold off on martyring myself that number might increase to six extras. Such is the reward that comes from reading "The Art of the Deal".

sig94 said...

LL - I bet Moooohammed might just throw in an extra woman or goat if you agree to take out a minimum number of infidels when you check out.

Kid said...

as long as they all look like helen thomas, I say to the savages - Go For It ! ha.

And really, ETERNITY and all you get are 72 females? Doesn't entice me to even cut my toenails let alone clack myself off. I want a lot more than that.