Michelle Obama Ready For Operation After Painful Erection

Or something like that.

From the NY Post:

Michelle Obama ready for anonymity after ‘painful’ election

Michelle Obama is looking forward to getting her “anonymity” back.

The first lady complained in an interview that aired Monday night with Oprah Winfrey on CBS that her biggest sacrifice while Barack Obama served as president was giving up her ability to be anonymous.

But soon, she believes, that’ll change.

That's not change honey. It's called molting.

“You know, there’s nowhere I can go in the world and just sit at a table and have a cup of coffee and watch the world,” Obama said in what is expected to be her final sit-down interview.

Oprah doubted Obama will get her anonymity back — but the outgoing first lady was insistent.

It would be helpful if she first shaved all the hair off her back. But what do I know?

“Yes, I am. Now it’s all gonna change,” Obama said at the White House.

What she's really looking forward to is spewing her particular blend of hateful, vindictive venom at whoever is pissing her off at the moment and then crawling back into her spider hole where she can escape the resulting barrage of righteous indignation.

Michelle Can Wake Up Somewhere Else

I won't bother linking to this crap, but the First Wookie is now crowing about another non issue: she wakes up each morning in a house built by slaves. She said this at the commencement ceremony at the NY City College.

Here ya go honey honey; from now on go to sleep on the front lawn and you can wake up on grass maintained by Hispanics and watered by homeless men who can't find a public restroom.

They Should Have Sent The Dog

Clad in the latest Marriott Residency Inn Sleep-O-Rama pattern (Room 626 Edition), Princess Michele performs the Bataan Death Curtsy for the Emperor of Japan.

From the Daily Mail:

Michelle Obama has had an awkward start to her visit to Japan as she was pictured towering over Emperor Akihito and stumbling as she tried to bow, shake his hand and curtsy at once. 

But all was well after the Emperor gave her a treat.

The First Lady, dressed in a florid combination of a blazer and skirt, dwarfed the Emperor in her silver stilettos, while he maintained his composure and smiled politely. 

She then squatted slightly while shaking his hand, seemingly trying to disguise the difference of height between them.

She really, really liked the treat but the Emperor brought only the one.

Mrs Obama, who is 5ft 9in tall, also caused embarrassment earlier in the day when she grabbed Akie Abe, wife of Japan's Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, in a hug-and-handshake combination while the Japanese First Lady was trying to bow.

The last incident was explained as a simple mistake; the First Lady thought Mrs. Abe was dressed like a french fry.

Fortunately the Air Force jet carrying her condiments and chili dogs was refueling in Guam so Mrs. Abe was in no danger.