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October 3, 2010

Nationwide Alert

A search of a 25-year-old man following a traffic stop Wednesday morning revealed one bag of marijuana and one bag of cocaine in the driver’s buttocks, according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office. The driver said only the marijuana belonged to him. ...

"When the bag (with 27 pieces of rock cocaine weighing 3.5 grams) fell to the ground, Roberts immediately said, according to the report, 'The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is
.'

GNN wishes to alert its readers that a strange phenomena is sweeping the nation - Spontaneous Butt Crack Generation(SBCG). Due to the sensative nature of this report, no graphic images will be used.

After speaking to some of the nation's top police officials, GNN can now advise it's readers that they should check their personal possessions, particularly those that are stored in extremely close proximity to or in their body, to ensure that SBCG has not occurred.

That is all.

17 comments:

Martok K'Trelan said...

Pah-leeze!

That's the first place I'd look!

DC said...

GNN is the BBC, Dear Abby, the Ad Council, Dick Clark's Top 40, and Wikipedia all in one ...

Nickie Goomba said...

Do I have to find a new place to carry my car keys?

T. F. Stern said...

Thank you, even an old retired cop thought that was worth a chuckle.

Chris W said...

So that's why they call it crack.

Doom said...

I bet that cracks everyone up. Further, double entendres are now obsolete. No buts about it. Gahh! I must leave here or go perpetual (more) mad.

DC said...

I see this as a crack in the door to start talking about M. Obama's booty again ...

DC said...

Nick, you did NOT put a picture of J-Lo for this post's avatar ... no, I did NOT see that.

aynzan said...

Sounds hilarious!!

Rhod said...

Sounds like the guy Goomba hired for Human Resources.

Lawyer said...

Hmmm...I may have to use that in my next criminal defense case. Of course, things could get tight if you stuff too much into the, umm.., case, and it could confuse the jury. Even so, everyone knows it will all come out in the end.

sig94 said...

In this instance the short arm of the law was used to effect an arrest.

Subvet said...

This guy must be a real butthead.

sig94 said...

Nickie - no, keep them there. Just turn off that little LED flashlight on the key ring. Last time you forgot and scared the hell out of the doctor.

Bloviating Zeppelin said...

What was that acronym?

-- GIGO?

BZ

sig94 said...

DC - my fondest wish is to be promoted from cub reporter to Lackey I. Even better, to Minion Trainee.

sig94 said...

Rhod - either that or he was just returning Nickie's keys after he borrowed the car.