December 29, 2010

UK Science Guys Test Brains

GNN - In a ground-breaking new study by scientists at world-renowned University College, London, the conservative brain was found to be imperfect compared to the liberal/Labor brain, upholding similar conclusions from UCLA. The complicated analytical device below, shown in a photograph smuggled out from its manufacturer in Scotland - the amiable host country for British manufacturing and advanced technology - is thought to be the source for University College's data. The study figure attached to the device is an unidentified brilliant American.

Dr. Alistair Bollocks-Sweetbreads,OBE, professor, phrenologist and tosser (shown below in his faculty portrait) asserts that his conclusions are indisputable; his sample included several students and two members of Parliament. Bollocks-Sweetbreads deduced from his study that conservative brains are ruled by anxiety and emotion, while liberal brains generate courage and optimism. Bollocks-Sweetbreads' name has been submitted for a Nobel Prize by the UC's Jeremy Bentham Viewing Club.

Alistair Bollocks-Sweetbreads, PhD, OBE, CPA, DOPE, MO RON IDI OT


Anonymous said...

I saw this on the NBC Today Show. Matt argued that this theory explained the hatred , racism and lower IQs of Conservatives.

Matt referred to Ronald Reagan as a "trainable".

Rhod said...

Lauer's impaled on NBC's fish hook, Zio. They found him in a Central Park puddle after a summer rainstorm. He squirms on command.

Anonymous said...

I'm uncomfortable with this whole science/politics conjecture. If Conservatives are "little brains", does that make Waxman the Master Race?

Rhod said...

Yeah, and Ted Kennedy's head was as big as a dumpster. The brain inside a grape that large should have made him as happy as Pee Wee Herman.

LL said...

The superior liberal brain has finally been defined and categorized.

Do you ever wonder that liberals seldom actually work? I don't now. They spend all of their time thinking great thoughts, inventing new laws and trying to protect the small brain people from themselves.

It's all coming clear - it takes a while for a conservative to fathom these things.

Anonymous said...

Waxman? Has to be a huge brain. Look at the size of the garage doors/nostrils.