GNN - In a ground-breaking new study by scientists at world-renowned University College, London, the conservative brain was found to be imperfect compared to the liberal/Labor brain, upholding similar conclusions from UCLA. The complicated analytical device below, shown in a photograph smuggled out from its manufacturer in Scotland - the amiable host country for British manufacturing and advanced technology - is thought to be the source for University College's data. The study figure attached to the device is an unidentified brilliant American.
Dr. Alistair Bollocks-Sweetbreads,OBE, professor, phrenologist and tosser (shown below in his faculty portrait) asserts that his conclusions are indisputable; his sample included several students and two members of Parliament. Bollocks-Sweetbreads deduced from his study that conservative brains are ruled by anxiety and emotion, while liberal brains generate courage and optimism. Bollocks-Sweetbreads' name has been submitted for a Nobel Prize by the UC's Jeremy Bentham Viewing Club.
Alistair Bollocks-Sweetbreads, PhD, OBE, CPA, DOPE, MO RON IDI OT