July 31, 2015

Big Cait

I just had to do this.

Big Cait

Ev’ry mornin’ at the gym you could see her arrive
She stood six foot two and weighed one eighty-five
Kinda broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip
And everybody knew, she was swingin’ a dick, Big Cait

Nobody seemed to know what Cait wanted to be
If two genders ain’t enough, hell, we’ll make three
So you didn’t say much 'cause you knew she was a guy
And if you spoke at all, you just said, “Hi” to Big Cait

She still looks like a man, t’was written in her genes
Couldn’t make up his mind if she's a King or a Queen
And a big endorsement from a reality show
Sent her back into the spotlight with a lotta dough, Big Cait

He weren't always a Cait, he used to be a Bruce
But one way or another his wiring got loose
It screwed up his thinking, his mind was a mess
So he decided to fix it by wearing a dress, Big Cait

It makes it real hard while writing this verse
Cause the gender thing keeps running in reverse
Now she's a woman but first he's a man
And I'm handling this as best as I can, for Big Cait

Now Brucelyn's future is up in the air
What she's got planned, I don't really care
But a slashing blow from a surgeon's right  hand
Could send Brucelyn's balls into a stainless steel pan, Big Cait

There will come a day at the end of his life
When God’s gonna settle all this identity strife
He made you a man and that’s what you gotta be
And you’ll pay for all this nonsense throughout eternity

Big Cait


Sunnybrook Farm said...

To the tune of Big John I suspect.

Gorges Smythe said...

And so 'tis.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

What a talent you have. Do you think Brucie is comfortable in his new "Bottom" role? I just can't get comfortable with the one time Worlds Greatest Athlete becoming a Queen.

sig94 said...

It's sad, very, very sad, to see how the media has capitalized on this poor creature's delusions.