Audit Bags A Weiner

Ex-Congressman and recovering sextaholic Anthony Weiner was informed that an audit of his 2013 run for Mayor of NYC uncovered some irregularities.

Weiner learned Thursday that the city Campaign Finance Board ordered his 2013 mayoral campaign committee to repay over $195,000 in public funds and whacked it with a fine of $64,956 after irregularities were identified in an audit.

The biggest portion of the fines resulted from the campaign’s failure to explain tens of thousands of dollars in expenses during the campaign and more than $100,000 afterward.

Auditors at the CFB also identified more than $1,500 in expenses that seemed to be personal in nature, including for dry cleaning bills.

Records show that as of July, Weiner still had nearly $4 million in his mayoral campaign account.

He received $1.6 million in taxpayer matching funds.

Story here.

Seriously, what will the NY Post do if Weiner goes underground? If he decides to live out the rest of his life in a monastery; there to fulfill himself through a life of tranquility and self denial?

Nah, that'll never happen. Weiner is drawn to mischief and public controversy as a dung beetle is drawn to a herd of elephants. The whiff of a fifteen year old pubescent female will give him the shakes. A trashy porn star wanna-be can still get him to flash his Hanes clad member throughout cyberdom.

He is compulsive, impulse driven. How this hot mess got to be a Congressman is beyond me.

This poor boy has got his wires crossed and three weeks on a horse is not going to fix that. We can expect more entertainment from this lad; all Weiner, all the time.,

Someone Better Tell Quasimodo

Sanctuary:
1. A consecrated place.
2. A place of refuge and protection.
3. A place where intoxicating beverages and buggery are available.

A Thanksgiving Day mass shooting in an Albany, NY, gay club has left one dead and three wounded. A gay community leader remarked that:

"[...]an act of violence happened in one of our community spaces and a life was lost in one of our sanctuaries."

Story here.

12 States Tell Obama to Sod Off

From Top Right News:

Barack Obama went way too far with his unconstitutional overreach in attempting to require “transgender-compliant” restrooms, showers and locker rooms in all public places across America.

And the massive backlash is spreading fast. So far 12 states have condemned Obama’s outrageous decree.

Most of the controversy began in North Carolina, where the state’s new HB2 law – requiring people to use restrooms consistent with their biological sex – was challenged by the Justice Department, who threatened the state to back down…or else. North Carolina was not intimidated, and immediately filed a lawsuit against the Justice Department for executive overreach.

H/T iOTW

I'd Break It's Legs First

H/T iOTW

Mr. And Mrs. Creepy

Never mind how Satan's deadbolt locks are holding up, the hinges on the Gates of Hell just fell off.

The NY Post shows us a glimpse into Hell's trailer park.

This married couple are both looking for the same thing — Mr. Right.

Three years ago, Claire Atkins was stunned when her husband of six years, beefy bodybuilder Marcus Atkins, told her he wanted to be a woman.

The perfect opportunity for a ménage à wah?

She stood by her man as he sold off his motorcycle to pay for his new 36E breasts, changed his name to Celeste, and this past December, completed the transformation with gender reassignment surgery.

Now Celeste has a new role in Claire’s life — as her wingwoman as they both prowl the English countryside for the man of their dreams.

So here's Claire and Celeste. One is a size four and the other is a fork lift.

Ya gotta laugh, this bruiser is the new bouncer at Victoria's Secret and the wife looks like she just had a vodka IV drip installed. Where do they find these people and what are they doing on the interwet tubes?

Cait and Bubba

Let me tell you all a story ’bout a trannie called Cait
An Olympic athlete who couldn’t stay straight
Cait was driving too fast while messing with his phone
He rear-ended some old lady and into traffic she was thrown.
Cait drivin’ an Escalade
Got her T-boned he did

Well the next thing you know ole Cait is facin’ time
‘Cause killing old ladies in California is a crime
Manslaughter is the charge that will put him into stir
And now he’ll regret that he changed into a her.
Bubba’s waitin’ for ya
Y’all bring KY
Ya hear?

Big Cait

I just had to do this.

Big Cait

Ev’ry mornin’ at the gym you could see her arrive

She stood six foot two and weighed one eighty-five

Kinda broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip

And everybody knew, she was swingin’ a dick, Big Cait

Nobody seemed to know what Cait wanted to be

If two genders ain’t enough, hell, we’ll make three

So you didn’t say much 'cause you knew she was a guy

And if you spoke at all, you just said, “Hi” to Big Cait

She still looks like a man, t’was written in her genes

Couldn’t make up his mind if she's a King or a Queen

And a big endorsement from a reality show

Sent her back into the spotlight with a lotta dough, Big Cait

He weren't always a Cait, he used to be a Bruce
But one way or another his wiring got loose
It screwed up his thinking, his mind was a mess
So he decided to fix it by wearing a dress, Big Cait

It makes it real hard while writing this verse
Cause the gender thing keeps running in reverse
Now she's a woman but first he's a man
And I'm handling this as best as I can, for Big Cait

Now Brucelyn's future is up in the air
What she's got planned, I don't really care
But a slashing blow from a surgeon's right  hand
Could send Brucelyn's balls into a stainless steel pan, Big Cait

There will come a day at the end of his life

When God’s gonna settle all this identity strife

He made you a man and that’s what you gotta be

And you’ll pay for all this nonsense throughout eternity

Big Cait

Edict, Schmeedict, They're Perverts

Al Arabiya News carries some important information for Peeping Prophets.

An Egyptian preacher’s controversial remarks have hit the headlines this week after he issued a fatwa (religious edict) allowing a man to see his wife-to-be “while she is showering” before they marry.

In a video, Salafist preacher Usama al-Qawsi said that the man can “hide" while watching the woman he “intends to marry” bathe.

“If you were really honest and wanted to marry that woman, and you were able to hide and watch her in secret, see the things that she wouldn’t usually let you see before marrying her, then it is acceptable as long as your intentions are pure,” Qawsi said in a video.

“One of the Prophet’s companions did that. Some disapproved and told him: ‘How do you do that when you’re one of the Prophet’s companions?’ The Prophet answered: ‘If you can see something that would make you want to marry her then go ahead and do it.’”

Of course the reasoning behind this is very important:
‘If you can see something that would make you want to marry her then go ahead and do it.’

But if you're already engaged... what is this "intend to marry" stipulation. Does she even have to know about it?

In my mind, there are other concerns of paramount importance.

What if there are lots of other guys at the same window?
What if you made reservations?
Can you bring your own seating?
Are snacks allowed?
How do you know those with pure intentions as opposed to those without? (Yeah there's a way, sure, but some guys are pretty sneaky when it comes to that).
Can you use surveillance or video recording equipment?
Can you bring your own lighting?
Most important - What if you see something that makes you not want to marry her?

Pertaining to the final item, while gazing upon your beloved, you might witness such things as:

• Too much body hair
• Too many fingers/toes
• Too many nipples
• Too many genitalia
• Wrong genitalia
• No genitalia
• Uncontrolled flatulence in the tub
• Preoccupation with sniffing bubbles brought about by the above
• Lighting the gas released by bubbles
• Presence of her mother in the tub at the same time
• Mother striking the matches for the bubbles
• Presence of her father/brothers/uncles in the tub yada yada
• Presence of family pets in the tub yada yada
• Drinking the tub water

After all, we're talking about places like Yemen.
I'm sure you can think of other things...

H/T LL

Blame Anime

The Japs obsession with sex dolls creeps me out.

In a few years they'll be holding the first Miss Latex Universe competition. If these things ever reach America, the democrats will want them to be able to vote and collect SSI.

 A Japanese company claims to have reached the next level in developing the most genuine looking sex doll which comes complete with realistic feeling skin and authentic looking eyes.

Orient Industry say their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance.  

The dolls, which are non inflatable, are sold under the name 'Dutch Wives', a Japanese term for a sex doll, and adverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again.

They sell for just over £1,000 each and early sales indicate they are proving to be a success.

Enough! This screams for some kind of intervention. We must immediately send a division of horny Marines to Japan to reprogram their culture. Show them how it's done, jump start the reproductive cycle, save their race and protect our supply of reliable, inexpensive electronics and fuel efficient autos. This is a matter of the highest national priority.

President Obama... melt down these dolls!

And the company behind the dolls are putting their success down to their realistic looking skin and eyes.

They also come with a selection of clothing to prevent the new owner from having to suffer the embarrassment of visiting a lingerie store.

Potential buyers can also customise the dolls, meaning they can chose the bust size, look and hair colour of their doll.

Company spokesman Osami Seto said: 'The two areas we identified as really needing improvement were the skin and the eyes.

'We feel we have finally got something that is arguably not distinguishable from the real thing.'

Latest models of the dolls include movable joints so buyers can place them in any position they wish.

Seriously, we totally screwed these people up when we nuked them.

California Girls

From Jubilant Prom Queen

To Pouty Princess

Cassidy Campbell is a sixteen year old high school guy/girl who's dream was to be prom queen. He got what he wanted and then some.

From the UK Daily Mail:

Campbell says she decided to run for homecoming queen earlier this year to make a statement.

While most of the kids at the school accept Campbell as female and were excited to see her win, it appears some weren't - which prompted the heartbreaking Youtube video.

In an explanation of the video, Campbell says she has never been so hurt by negative feedback as she did following what she thought would be 'the happiest night of my life.'

So, another California train wreck wants to make a statement and falls apart after someone informs him that you're not special, so STFU.

After all, it's all about being special.

And what's with the Aladdin's Lamp being carried by the old lesbo in pic #1? I guess it goes with the Magic Golf Cart ride for Her Highness.

I wonder if the Beach Boys had Campbell in mind when they recorded this.