The Police, They Care.

The Richland, WA Police report finding a man's body in the Columbia River, near the confluence of the Yakima River, at Columbia park. The victim apparently drowned due to excessive marijuana consumption. The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.

He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and a 'Hillary for President' T-shirt. He also had a LED flashlight and a cucumber in his rectum.

The flashlight was on.

Emergency room staff turned off the flashlight and the police removed the Hillary T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.

In spite of what we sometimes think, the Police do care.

Sharia Chic

As Europe stumbles its way into the heathen worship system of Mohammedism, it is best that we  anticipate, perhaps even embrace, some of the benefits that will accompany this change.

One of the accrued benefits of Mohammedism will be a return to a historic exterior decorating style formerly employed by the likes of such men as King Henry VIII, namely the positioning of heads on spikes on the London Bridge.

With the proper placement of brunettes, blondes and gingers amid floral patterns defined by wrought iron borders, a striking visual ensemble can be created in a few hours and last for days, even weeks if the weather remains cool. There is no lack of skilled Muslim exterior decorators who are willing to work for a pittance.

This decorating style  can also help reduce the appalling incidence of English obesity by stimulating vigorous physical exercise as witnessed by this account:

Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury (1473-1541) The Countess of Salisbury was the last direct descendant of the Plantagenet line - she was a descendant of King Edward III. The countess made the mistake of appearing to side with Katherine of Aragon against the king and he declared her a traitor. She was arrested two years before her execution and badly treated and neglected as a prisoner in the Tower of London. She was not given a trial. She was small, frail and ill. 

But she was a proud noble. She was dragged to the block, but refused to lay her head on the block. She was forced down and struggled. The inexperienced executioner made a gash in her shoulder rather than her neck. She leapt from the block and was chased by the executioner, with his axe. She was struck eleven times before she died. There were 150 witnesses to her execution. She was 68 years of age.

While never losing its appeal in the Mid East, this style is seeing a dramatic resurgence as Sharia Chic sweeps out of the Fertile Crescent and takes Europe by storm.

They Can Hear You Michelle

Depressed Michelle Obama "Holed Up" In Bedroom

WASHINGTON (WNB) - White House sources say a depressed First Lady Michelle Obama has been locked in her bedroom since Tuesday night with a quantity of Ben & Jerry's 'Chunky Monkey' ice cream and several canned hams.

"Barry and Mooch had a big argument and she locked herself in the bedroom. I know she's still in there because I hear her farting," said the source.

Post Election News courtesy of World News Bureau