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August 11, 2009

Hillary's Three Unfortunate Outbursts

Poor Hillary Clinton!

(GNN) - The US Secretary of State lost her cool at a meeting in Kinshasa, Congo, as she was asked what her husband thought about Chinese aid to the troubled nation.

She is in the midst of a grueling trip to Africa, bringing a message of US commitment to the unhappiest corners of an unhappy continent. Yet it is now likely to be remembered, if at all, for a profane answer to a question involving her husband – a question that almost certainly was mis-relayed to her in translation.

Yesterday she became the first Secretary of State to visit Goma, ground zero of the civil war that for a decade has ravaged eastern Congo. This visit will probably be eclipsed by her reply at a town hall meeting on Monday with university students in the capital Kinshasa.

Unfortunately the translator messed up the question, originally in French. What did President Obama think of concerns about massive Chinese aid to the country, he apparently meant to ask. Alas the President in question was identified not as Mr Obama, but her own spouse, Bill Clinton.
"You want me to tell you what my husband thinks?" she replied, glaring with anger. "My husband is not the g*dd*m Secretary of State, I am. If you want my opinion, you little shit, I will tell you my f**king opinion. I am not going to be channeling my f**cking husband."
The room fell to silence as Clinton gestured to security offices to escort the translator from the gathering. Afterward, aides said that the student had apologized to Mrs Clinton, explaining that he had intended to inquire what President Obama thought about the China's loan offer. But the damage had been done.

Just three hours later, visiting a religious snake sanctuary in Angola, Mrs Clinton struggled as she strolled with a large poisonous serpent when an observer, in broken English, inquired whether the Secretary of State was having difficulty walking with an asp that size. Yet again, Clinton glared and this time slapped the young man with the back of her ample hand.

Finally, that evening at a State dinner in Johannesburg, South Africa, Mrs Clinton's hands were pried from around the neck of the Chinese Minister Xait Juong, when Xait, using a substandard Soviet-era translation book, and intending to ask if Clinton would care to join in a spirited limbo dance, haltingly requested if she would care to "boogie under my wiggle stick."

All in all, it was an unfortunate series of events. The misogynists who love to cast powerful women as thin-skinned and irrational will never let her forget it.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

My God! Look at those picture! I think Hilary is morphing into Madeline Albright!

Either that or someone threw a bucket of water on her... "I'm melting... melting... Who would have believed a little girl like you could have destroyed by beautiful wickeness..."

Anonymous said...

You're right, Wolfie... She's a fine figure of a woman.

TheBitterAmerican said...

I think we REALLY know how she'd act if the phone rang at 3 am,...

Anonymous said...

Keep the red button far away from the bedside.

Anonymous said...

This sounds like a really awesome joke to me! Asp! Ha! Hilary-ous!

Anonymous said...

There's nothing funny about it, Jenn. It's troubling.

Opus #6 said...

The asp part got me, too. Laughing VERY loudly here, drawing attention from my kid.

I still would rather have her as president than Obama. Saturday Night Live stole her presidency.

Anonymous said...

How do you say "cankles" in Chinese?

Hop?

Anonymous said...

Monica Lewinsky probably stole her presidency.

Anonymous said...

If Hop had been translating, so much of this coulda been avoided, for sure!

Anonymous said...

DC,

Check your dcutter email!

el chupacabra said...

Epic

Tantric even

LL said...

She looks pregnant, doesn't she?

I mean, that is a cruel comment to a women her age who isn't - but that glow on her face, the bulge in her belly and the speech that drips, corrodes and poisons. You put the three together and -- she's either pregnant or a fat, insufferable bitch.

For a long time she was the wind beneath Bill's wings. Now as SecState she does that again - with Bill getting her press.

Gia's Spot said...

Tears are falling from my chin as I laugh hysterically... I saw the original versions, but I must have left the room during these most poignant moments! Dam funny, Mr.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Gained a few pounds Hillary ?

CI-Roller Dude said...

Suggestion. The next time you write about "her" could you leave out the pictures? I puked all over my keyboard again when I saw her.
No wonder Bill had to turn to an intern.

Red said...

Poor Hillary. Her feel sad and slighted and misunderstood. :-( moe.

Anonymous said...

Chup,

Tantric is just what I'm shooting for.
Also, lugubrious.

Anonymous said...

LL,

That was a classic LL swipe of the machete. You work in vitriol like Oscar Meyer worked in pig snouts.

Anonymous said...

Gia,

I'm here to flesh out these stories. The MSM edits them to appeal to the unwashed masses.

As one more unwashed than most, I know what the rabble want.

Anonymous said...

Woody, every pound she gains puts her further from the next Dem presidential nomination.

To the Libs, fat people are evil.

Wetzy said...

I laughed so hard I almost dropped my wiggle stick.

Anonymous said...

CI, I apologize. There really should be a health warning. I'll work on it.

Anonymous said...

Red,

I think she's feeling sad 'cause she's beginning to feel UNDERSTOOD.

Hop Sing said...

Nice woman make cold night warm. Mean woman make long life too long.

Hillary go away now. Bill is happy man when you leave him alone. Make me happy. You go now.

Rhod said...

Good color for here. The 1977 Volvo look is complete.

BTW, Goomba. What is "lugubrious"? I don't think I know that word,

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Rhod, and I've never tasted soft cheese.

Rhod, email me at americangoomba at gmail dott com, please.

JihadGene said...

I must go and report you asp-holes to flag@whitie.gov

Anonymous said...

G-O-O-M-B-A, Gene.

Anonymous said...

Rhod, you won't regret it ... serious payola.

Rhod said...

Hell, I'm in for the garlic bread. With payola, once you're in there's no gettin' out.

Rhod said...

..and I've always thought of soft cheese as lubricious.

Always On Watch said...

When I first saw those images of Hillary on the video of her outburst, I didn't recognize her at first. She looks strange -- physically.

Of course, her voice gave away her identity.

Frankly, I was amused by her outburst. Perhaps something about who wear's the pants in this family is going on within the Clinton household?

Timeshare Jake said...

Who is she? Why is she there? Oh that's right, that's the democratic primary loser who sold her sould for a place on the cabinet, and now provides humorous moments much like the tragic tale of Dr. Faustus. I sometimes forget we have a Secretary of State since Obama shuts her out of major issues and gives her duty in Africa.

By the way, I always enjoy watching video of Admiral James Stockdale.

Timeshare Jake said...

Who is she? Why is she there? Oh that's right, that's the democratic primary loser who sold her sould for a place on the cabinet, and now provides humorous moments much like the tragic tale of Dr. Faustus. I sometimes forget we have a Secretary of State since Obama shuts her out of major issues and gives her duty in Africa.

By the way, I always enjoy watching video of Admiral James Stockdale.

Kid said...

Hillary is simply displaying how insecure she is. And she knows better than we just how much.

She has F* up every trip she has made since being crowned the queen of incompetence.

Man, compare this vile creature to Condi for a second and it makes me wanna start telling people I'm French Monsieur !

Anonymous said...

Watchman, do you believe there actually is a Clinton household?

Anonymous said...

Bill, you gotta work on that stutter. It's gettin' worse.

Anonymous said...

Hillary has been over her head in everything she's attempted, Kid. This latest episode is no surprise.

Anonymous said...

I have one word - MENOPAUSE!

Political Blog said...

I think we are way too hard on Clinton. How long did we talk about Pres. Bush vomiting on the Japanese PM? And he was the president? People do and say stupid things all the time, people are people and they will react.

But I will concede this, I think America really needs to start pushing the education of other languages in our school systems. English really isn't an easy language.