(GNN) - President Obama's nominee for surgeon general, whose job it is to help encourage Americans to get thinner and healthier, has been working part time as a scientific adviser to the fast-food giant that sells sandwiches like the Whopper and BK Triple Stacker.
Dr. Regina Benjamin, hailed by Mr. Obama for her efforts in running the Zoftig Sisters Health Clinic in hurricane-ravaged rural Alabama, has been paid $10,000 since last year for serving on a scientific advisory board for Burger King, according to newly filed public financial disclosures.
The Goomba News Network has now compiled a comprehensive list of healthy Burger King innovations initiated by Dr. Benjamin:
1. Dr. Benjamin is an acknowledged advocate for offering healthy and delicious food choices. She stopped Burger King's selling of the Dutch Apple Pie (a hot and gooey apple filling in a flaky baked crust) at 360 calories, and replaced it with a slightly higher calorie but significantly more nutritious Lo-Cal Cheesecake Slice.
2. On her first day of decision-making, she immediately removed CHEESY TOTS® (Hot, golden brown fried cheese balls filled with melted cheese) from the menu and replaced the popular item with SUPER CHEESY CHEESY TOTS® with an added nutritious melted cheddar cheese topping.
3. She modified the ANGRY TENDERCRISP® (tender, premium breaded white meat chicken filet topped with sizzling bacon, Pepper Jack cheese, deliciously spicy jalapenos, angry onions and the signature angry sauce) by adding a sprinkling of healthy feta cheese, and served the sandwich with small packets of high-fiber blue cheese sauce.
4. Dr. Benjamin fought hard against the continued sale of the Oreo® BK® Chocolate Shake Sundae. Benjamin argued that the concoction was almost entirely without protein, but Burger King officials refused to add any cheese products into their popular dessert item. It was finally resolved that 2 small packets of blue cheese sauce would be offered with each sundae.
30 comments:
2 packets of blue cheese sauce! What if I want marinara?!
I have a craving for SUPER CHEESY CHEESY TOTS®
I vote for Super Cheesy Tots too, Nickie, what an awesome post.....
Are you serious? This post smells like a Fortress (that's the new code ... I decree it) to me.
Doctor heal thyself.
Rebel,
As soon as the pool boy gets back from the local BevMo, I'm sending him out for a super-sized double order of Super Cheesy Cheesy Tots.
And a defibrillator.
DC, It's serious as a heart attack. Isn't that what the kids say nowadays?
Guy, in this case I think you mean:
Physician, serve yourself. Drinks are extra!
I've got a serious scoop that I bet you haven't been covering ...
Hey Nickie - Here in Arizona, we put salsa on darn near everything. Do you know, is the blue cheese thing some kind of regional discrimination?
Regardless... I sure could go for a Bacon Triple Cheeseburger right now.
OK, DC... 'fess up! You've got my email.
Sol... Attorneys General don't eat salsa. What the hell's the matter with you!?
And anyway, zoftig is a mark of beauty in some cultures.
Sorry, Nickie - I was thinking of "Wise Latina Supreme Court Justices."
Is that racist of me? Better call the Southern Poverty Law Center...
Opie, it is at my house!
Sol, it all sounds a little "fishy", eh?
Is that Rhambo "Dead Fish" fishy, or flag@whitehouse.gov fishy?
Either way, if it's about the current administration - it stinks.
I was shocked when I heard a week or so ago that she was in the running for the position. How can a fat woman be the Surgeon General? Why would anyone look to her for advice on healthy eating habits?
If I eat that healthy I'll look like something that have to be pushed back into the water. Whale.
Super-sizing has gone much too far when it includes Cabinet members. Government bloat, indeed.
The girl couldn't squeeze into Taft's White House bath tub.
Rhod, isn't it better to get advice from somebody who has "been there"?
Opie, it looks like she's still "there" and has no plans for leaving.
I am complex politically, I know. I support this part of the Obama Administration and giving us junk food lovers a voice. Thanks for this vital information.
Tell the truth, DC. You had 47 Roy Rogers franchises before the Hardees massacre.
And what did you use to tenderize that roast beef, brake fluid?
Tricia, It seems to be yet another farce pushed onto us my this administration.
Mammon, calm down. We're talking about delicious and nutritious deep-fried cheese.
Manna from Heaven, man.
Thanks, DC. Yet another Goomba News Network public service.
I recall the Popeye's - Roy Rogers riots back in the 80's. Let's not stir up that gravy again.
Why can't we all just gnaw our drumsticks together?
Opie, you know Rhod hasn't spoken to Monica Lewinsky in at least 10 years.
Foiled again...
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