GNN - THIS came over the teletype today from our office in Shropshire. Cub Reporter Sig is on the scene. He reports that Dickie Munslow was the last known sin eater.
Well, this reporter has eaten a few in my time, mostly for the living, like Goomba and DC. And I can tell you, DC's were watery fare (parking tickets, uttering "dang", and forgetting to brush) compared to the epic feast at Goomba's, and the rich desserts provided by LL and Toaster.
I don't even have to leave my desk for the rest of you posters. Snacks, only. Somebody get me a double-sized load of Wrath with cheddar, bacon, and sour cream, with a side of Sloth and a Lust Shake. I'm famished.
10 comments:
It's important to indulge your lust. The best way to get past sin is to yield to it.
Rhod - I heard stories about the incredible gas you had after Goomba's twelve course affair. You broke wind at a Yankees doubleheader and the entire right field mezzanine ended up getting arrested for public lewdness while the Yankees outfield was banned from taking showers with the rest of the team for a year and a half. Thank God the wind changed before Steinbreener got to dry humping A-Rod's leg.
I could be your Huckleberry.
Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.”
Personally, I prefer binge and purge.
Binge on freedom, purge the tyranny.
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
J. R. R. Tolkien (1892 - 1973)
LL, you want me to starve?
That story is apocryphal, Sig. I admit to a little stomach upset from DC's stale "Gluttony" with six low-cal,low-fat, low-sodium pretzel sticks - but that twelve-course meal was just twelve occurences of Nickie's Rhod Envy.
Whattayagonnado?
Doom, I've eaten too much Pride to fall to the level of Doom Huckleberry.
Toast, Tolkien eludes me, Lewis doesn't.
Perhaps a digestif is in order.
"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." - 2 Timothy 3:1-7 (KJV)
...Any of this ringing a bell?
Maybe not so much with the gastronome's at this table, but look around the restaurant if you dare.
Wow, that is epic. I object that my sins are "watery fare," however.
DC, a supply of little offenses is more important to a guy in my line of work as the big ones. If you're a regular customer, notice in my pamphlet that you get the big ones chowed-down for free.
It's like used cars. If I sell you a new one, I don't see you for a long time; the cheap clunkers keep you coming back.
I have this figured out.
For the wages of sin are *erp* heartburn...
Post a Comment