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May 5, 2011

Clue-Less


From the Bookworm Room:


1) There was a firefight.
2) There was no firefight.
3) Bin Laden was “resisting.”
4) Bin Laden wasn’t armed. (Makes the concept of “resisting” interesting.)
[4.a) And the newest one: the SEALS thought bin Laden was reaching for a weapon.]
5) He used his wife as a shield.
6) His wife was killed too.
7) He didn’t use his wife as a shield. She ran at a SEAL who shot her in the leg, but she’s fine.
8 ) Some other woman — the maid? — was used as a shield. By somebody. Downstairs.
9) That other woman — downstairs — was killed.
10) Maybe not. She was killed unless she wasn’t — and who was she, anyway?
11) Bin Laden’s son was killed.
12) Unless it was some other guy.
13) Bin Laden’s daughter saw him get killed. She’s undoubtedly traumatized, poor dear.
14) They were going to capture Bin Laden until the problem with the helicopter, which was:

A) It had mechanical trouble
B) It did a hard landing
C) It crashed
D) It clipped a wall with a tail rotor, effectively a crash

15.) They were never going to try to capture him; it was always a kill mission.
16.) No, it wasn’t.
17) The chopper blew up.
18) The SEALs blew it up.
19.) Panetta said yesterday the world needed proof and the photo would be released.
20.) Obama said today in an interview he taped with Steve Kroft for “60 Minutes” to be broadcast Sunday that it won’t be released. It’s too gruesome, would offend Muslim sensibilities (something he worries about a lot — I personally do not give a warm fart on a wet Wednesday about Muslim sensibilities), and how would Americans feel if Muslims released pictures of dead Americans?
21.) Kroft — who’s not a total idiot — pointed out that ever since “Black Hawk Down” days, Muslims have been doing precisely that, filming American bodies being dragged through the streets, filming Daniel Pearl’s head being cut off, filming any and everything.
22) Obama gets pissed at CBS, the tape gets cleaned up, that question disappears. (Inside info.)
23.) We got a “treasure trove” of stuff from hard drives, etc.
24.) There were no phone lines, and no internet access at the “mansion,” they didn’t even have TV — what “treasure trove?”
25.) There is obviously in the pictures of the place a large satellite dish. I guess they used it for making salads.
26.) And now, just today: apparently the idea was to capture him, but only if he was naked. There was a suspicion he might be wearing a suicide bomber type explosive vest, or belt. So if he’s not naked and you can’t see if he has a vest on or not – shoot him.

The idiot Carney — they actually managed to find someone who makes Gibbs look good — is currently twisting himself into knots trying to explain why the photograph that the whole world was expecting isn’t going to be released. (Obviously the thing to do is get Trump on the case, he’ll force Obama to release it.)

The military did great, the administration — or whatever that bunch is, kind of like “The Little Rascals” — have managed to turn it into spaghetti. The story has changed so many times in the course of a mere three days it’s a joke — the world would be better off if Panetta had left the little shitwit on the golf course
.


Colonel Mustard.
In the Situation Room.
Full of clowns.

23 comments:

Guess Who’s Speaking? said...

Why don't this moron learn how to spell his or her dirty words before he insults everyone else?

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Oh My, Anonymous really sounds angry at you. I'll bet you'll get over it.

That's what was missing from that photo all along, Party Hats!

Anonymous said...

Have you heard now that there never was a video tape'? They must have all been watching a King of Queens rerun.

Was Rosemary Woods in the room?

hymns that preach said...

Osama really, Really, REALLY is DEAD. You can believe it. Obama said so. (unless he isn't)

USA_Admiral said...

That is one great FUCKRN photo-shopped image!

The commentary is pretty FUCKRN good too.

Andy said...

Oh man, I'm so waiting for 1/21/13 and the day the adults are back in charge... Our men and women in uniform deserve so much than this administration that is more resembling the set of The Bananna Splits than a functioning government.

McGonagall said...

Love the photo. I see they invited Osama to the party - how very inclusive of them.

sig94 said...

Anonymous - Ah gee whiskers gramma! They keep telling you not to cuss! The home's not gonna let you pet the pooch in the rec room again if you keep this up.

sig94 said...

Odie - not to worry. She'll forget all about it when she tries to remember where she left her FUCKRN teeth.

sig94 said...

Nickie - they suddenly realized that when they announced that they were watching the live action that Trump, et al would be asking for the video feed as well as the stills of Osama getting to meet Jesus.

So...... SHAZAAM! Twenty-five minutes of the recording of the most famous covert operation the military has run in decades just disappears. Never saw it. Golly wollockers - what an unfortunate technical screw up! And just when they were serving nachos too!

Watch what happens when this whole farce flies with the media.

SHAZAAM! Obumbles long form BC disappears along with the hospital.

SHAZAAM! Joe Biden gets stuck up in a tree and they can't get him down. He disappears.

SHAZAAM! Gitmo disappears off the ass end of Cuba.

SHAZAAM! Bill Ayers is now National Security Adviser.

sig94 said...

Ralph - Osama is either sleeping with the fishes or is sunning himself on a yacht somewhere in the Adriatic with one of Goomba's ex-wives, one of the fat ones I think. At this point, who knows?

sig94 said...

Admiral - well Sir, I ran it up the flag pole and waited to see who'd salute it. And I'll be horn swaggled if the very first one wasn't Anonymous to pop off a FUCKRN great one!

This very well could be 'shopped. Since Obumbles will not release the group photo where all the SEALS are posed pissing on Osama's FUCKRN head (you KNOW they did!) we just can't be sure.

sig94 said...

McG - they also included a few other invitees to the "Going Away" party if the rumors are correct. Or not... We never saw the party pictures or the invitation list either. The WH definitely needs a more involved social director, eh?

Anonymous said...

Joe, the people are getting swept up in the moment, carried along in a manufactured moment of national unity (just like the farce this administration made of the Arizona shooting memorial service/pep rally/campaign stop). Was no one stunned when BO started talking about national unity? From a man who has spent the last two years creating the greatest divides in my lifetime? A man who wields the dual weapons of race and class warfare as easily and naturally as most of us say "please" and "thank you." A man whose presidency has spawned a deeply-divisive, sharply bitter partisanship in this nation's people (far beyond the hallowed halls of Congress and the executive branch), a divide so vehement and so widespread that it makes the Bush years look like a kumbaya summer camp.

Anonymous said...

Joe, the people are getting swept up in the moment, carried along in a manufactured moment of national unity (just like the farce this administration made of the Arizona shooting memorial service/pep rally/campaign stop). Was no one stunned when BO started talking about national unity? From a man who has spent the last two years creating the greatest divides in my lifetime? A man who wields the dual weapons of race and class warfare as easily and naturally as most of us say "please" and "thank you." A man whose presidency has spawned a deeply-divisive, sharply bitter partisanship in this nation's people (far beyond the hallowed halls of Congress and the executive branch), a divide so vehement and so widespread that it makes the Bush years look like a kumbaya summer camp.

Remember when BO was strutting around (before his strut became more of a shuffle-and-lurch) in 2008 and proclaiming that he would ignore Pahhhhkistahhn as our sometime but definitely on paper ally and, without their knowledge or approval, stage military strikes or whatever it took within their borders? Remember how everyone said that was naive, at best (that link goes to Firedoglake, the home of suddenly war-mongering progressives who cheer this president's violation of Pakistani sovereignty, but they did the work of finding relevant 2008 quotes from Bush, McCain, and Palin). And remember how he stubbornly stuck to his guns, promising to violate any and all agreements and laws, international or U. N., to get bin Laden? And remember how that just seemed so strange, particularly coming from someone who spends most of his time burbling endlessly about how America is actually just the nifty but benevolent military and economic arm of the new world order international order he envisions?

Anonymous said...

Remember how we all marveled at his transparent hypocrisy (the only thing that is actually transparent about this administration): he holds up the need to humble America, disarm, diminish, bankrupt, and humiliate her on the one hand, but then promises to use every ounce of her considerable power to achieve his goal? Even if that means ignoring the sovereignty of a nation to do it? Can you even begin to imagine the horrified shrieks of "murderer!," "war monger," the accusations of hubris and arrogance, and who knows what if it had been President Bush who unilaterally authorized, on ally soil, a military operation that can only have been a kill mission? There would be no cheers from the left, no songs of praise, no dancing in the street. There would be condemnation and calls for his removal from office.
This is what happens when stupid ass Liberals run things. They have to figure out, poll, and focus group how they can make Obama look like a studmuffin, and gain politically for the Democrats at the same time. Obama is such an arrogant, narcissistic twit, that you just know it kills him to give credit to anyone, but himself. Everything with the Left is political. You can bet if things had gone terribly wrong, they would have been trying to figure out how to BLAME President Bush for making them have to go in and get bin laden. Since they claim they have killed him, now they are in full Crow mode with all the usual brown nosers kissing Obama's posterior.
What I am arguing here is that it reveals, yet again, the contradictions in this president's worldview and the heartless pursuit of his own ends at the expense of any and everything. He bypassed Congress to (illegally, according to the laws of this land and our Constitution) go to war (er, "kinetic military action") with Libya, with a far smaller coalition that President Bush had for Iraq. BO ignored the clear will of the people in forcing that health care monstrosity on the American people in what can, in its strictly partisan passage, only be considered an affront to the American Constitution, its governance, and we, the people. He has repeatedly used strong-arm tactics, bribes, elaborate plots, intimidation, and bullying to get his way. Has there ever been a less-principled, more aggressively corrupt, self-aggrandizing administration (in this country, I mean)? I think not. And now all they have to do is make up a story about how they found Bin laden without waterboarding. Let's see how killing Bin Laden will help the deficit, or the jobless or the collapsing dollar, or the price of gas..

Kid said...

Sig, I like it. :)

Damnit why'd you have to put that Col Mustard reference in at the end? After reading the first few sentences, my comment was gonna be Col Mustard, In the Dining Room, With the Rope.

Love the picture though! Did you do it? hahahaha

You probably did this post before Hilrod said "it was a very tense 38 minutes and she can't remember much of what she saw". Maybe the lady that steps on her foot to playback the tape machine inside Hilrod's ass hit the Erase Pedal Instead of the playback pedal.... for 38 minutes. By accident. History Rhymes Don't It !
hahahaha

Kid said...

Folks, They was watchin a Roadrunner Cartoon and this is the exact moment Wile E Coyote fell from the 196,00 mile high Cliff !

Explains perfectly:
- Hilrod's shock
- Gate's wry smile
- obama and Biden's CONCERNED looks.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHA

sig94 said...

Kid - That picture shows Hilary reacting to Biden's farting out "Camp Town Ladies."

Anonymous said...

Doo-dah - Doo-dah.

banned said...

Alternatively

Situation Room

sig94 said...

banned - before we're through with them. they're gonna have to change the name of that room.

GoodnightVienna said...

According to press reports in England, Hilary was just stifling one of her "summer allergy coughs". Of course she was.