To Serve While Erect

Two Los Angeles Dept. of Transportation traffic enforcement officers have been accused of participating in pornographic films while on duty.

Allegations include: spanking, groping, fondling, wet willies, dry humphreys, moist molestation, slightly damp dandling and autoeroticism while reclining in the front seat of a parked traffic enforcement vehicle.

More charges may be filed when DNA tests are completed and the "Check Oil" light on the dash finally stops blinking excitedly.

City officials are looking into allegations that two traffic cops appeared in a porn video—while on the job and in uniform, reports KNBC-TV. Apparently, their boss found out about it and took no disciplinary action, and now the city transportation department has opened an investigation. "It's absolutely disgusting," says a department official. The officers are on administrative leave pending the investigation, reports the Los Angeles Times.

As for the video: It follows the adventures of a woman who approaches men at work. One of the LA officers allegedly fondles and spanks her. The other gets spanked by her and allows her into his city car, where she does unmentionable things (not involving the officer), explains KNBC. “If there is any criminal aspect to this, there will be action,” says an "appalled and outraged" city councilman.

Apparently both officers have been temporarily transferred to the Adventures in Vehicular Foreplay Division.