Loaded For Bear

After downing a large bowl of fermented kimchi, International Jokester-for-life President Kim Jung-fun dares President Trump to pull his finger.

Braggadocious

That little s**t pot North Korean dictator, Kim Turd-un, is threatening to hit the USA with a "super-mighty preemptive strike," whatever that is. His threats to destroy the US are really directed towards his own people because no one else in the world believes him. Still he is truly an annoying little psychopath and hopefully the 1-2-3 combo of China, Japan and the US will remove him from being an annoyance to realizing his potential as fertilizer.

Even Mary Poppins wants to kick his Fat Asian Ass.

Super-Mighty-Suicidal-Extra-Braggadocious
Threatenings from that little shit who wants to be ferocious
The bombing that is soon to come is something quite atrocious
Super-Mighty-Suicidal-Extra-Braggadocious!

Fayetteville,NC,and Trump Chess

I'm drinking coffee and covered with dog hair.

 We arrived at Danielle's house yesterday around 1700. Her pups went nuts as we walked in the door; Greta and Boogie (as in Bogart) haven't left us alone since.  Especially Greta, she is constantly underfoot.

Boogie is an idiot. He jumped out the car window when our daughter was returning from NG training in Alabama last week - the car was doing 60 mph. Danielle has horrid memories of seeing him violently flipping over and over in her rear view mirror. She found a vet (I think she was in Georgia at the time) and had him checked out right away. He got all scrapped up and was a little dopey for a few days but is back to his normal, stupid self.

IMHO Greta got sick of his s**t and pushed him out the window. Greta is the princess, the Queen even. Greta gotta teach stuff to stupid dogs.

Oh, and Danielle was also glad to see us. Jess and her husband (and baby) just left my sister's house in MD (it's 0825 now) and will be joining us at Danielle's about 1430. My oldest daughter Amy and her brood will be here Friday. It will be the first Easter in a long time (10 years?) that most of us will be together. The only one missing will be Becca in Brooklyn. But her boss had her over for Passover last week so she's got that going for her.

Ahhhh. Trump chess. After he and Xi Jinping had a powwow last week suddenly a carrier strike group shows up on Kim Jung's front porch and now 150,000 Chinese troops arrive at his back door. Little Kim needs to reassess his strategery, eh? We'll see what the fat crazy rice bowl does next.

My wife just blurted out, "It's National Happy Siblings Day!" and gave me her frowny face.
She's an only child.
Suck it up honey.

Time for me to go.

Does Kim Jung Have A Teachable Moment?

Assassinating the leader of a sovereign nation has been publicized as a viable option in the US media.

This is designed to catch someone's attention.

If this leader has any brains at all, he will accept this as a warning and calm the hell down.

The new Sheriff is not about to put up with his nonsense.

The National Security Council has presented President Donald Trump with options to respond to North Korea's nuclear program — including putting American nukes in South Korea or killing dictator Kim Jong-un, multiple top-ranking intelligence and military officials told NBC News.

If he doesn't take a chill pill, it is very likely that a Tomahawk has been prepared with his name on it. I assume the Chinese have been advised and have signed off on it conditionally ... that we warn the little prick what is going to happen.

Story here.

UPDATE:
A carrier strike force has been dispatched to the Korean Peninsula.

A U.S. Navy strike group will be moving toward the western Pacific Ocean near the Korean peninsula as a show of force, a U.S. official told Reuters on Saturday, as concerns grow about North Korea's advancing weapons program.

Earlier this month North Korea tested a liquid-fueled Scud missile which only traveled a fraction of its range.

The strike group, called Carl Vinson, includes an aircraft carrier and will make its way from Singapore toward the Korean peninsula, according to the official, who was not authorized to speak to the media and requested anonymity.

"We feel the increased presence is necessary," the official said, citing North Korea's worrisome behavior.

Source

Bad Posture Is A Capital Offense

I have called North Korean President For Eternity And Beyond Kim Jong-un a nut case, fruit cake and homicidal maniac. He is actually worse than that. The Harvard School of Language has been busily researching a new word that will be used to describe foul creatures like Jong-un.

He executed someone because they were not sitting up straight.

Kim Jong-un has executed a senior North Korean official by firing squad because he did not sit properly during a meeting. 

Education minister Kim Yong-Jin, 63, was shot dead after his 'bad sitting posture' in parliament incurred the wrath of the North Korean dictator. 

The slouching vice premier was interrogated and found to be an 'anti-revolutionary agitator' before his execution in July, a South Korean official said.

Lord only knows what Kim would have done if Yong-Jin was also chewing gum.
Story here.

North Korea Promotes Army Chief Of Staff

Today Army Gen. Ri Yong-gil, chief of the General Staff of the Korean People´s Army was promoted to Dog Food First Class and also received the Korean People's Excellence in Artillery Targets Award. This most prestigious award was pinned to Gen. Yong-gil's charred left boot heel recovered at the gunnery range.

North Korea has executed its army chief of staff on corruption and other charges, according to news reports quoting sources familiar with North Korean affairs.

Another victim of "factional conspiracy."

Story here.

Back From The Brink

North and South Korea have stepped back from the precipice.

 [Cue Barry MacGuire singing, "On The Eve Of Destruction"]

Civilization is now free to crumple all on its own with no assistance from the elimination of cheap, but reliable, electronics and dead uncles. From the NY Post:

South Korea says it has agreed to halt propaganda broadcasts at noon after North Korea expressed regret over a recent land mine blast that maimed two South Korean troops.

South Korean presidential security adviser Kim Kwan-jin made the announcement in a televised briefing early Tuesday, after more than 30 hours of talks with North Korea ended.

The talks were the second round of negotiations the rival Koreas began Saturday after events at their heavily guarded border pushed them to the brink of a possible military confrontation.

Instead of loudspeaker propaganda, South Korea has commenced television broadcasts of old episodes of  "Doogie Jong: Teenage Dictator."

And the beat goes on.

I'll Take Earplugs for $400 Alex

The past week's hostilities between North and South Korea was caused by these puppies:

In retaliation, the North Koreans started their own loudspeaker propaganda attacks.

The North’s broadcasts mark the restoration of inter-Korean propaganda warfare along the border after the two Koreas stopped the practice in 2004 as part of their efforts to ease animosities. Other practices, including leafleting and the operation of frontline billboards, remain suspended, according to Seoul officials.

North Korea’s action also came as Seoul and Washington launched annual military drills that Pyongyang calls an invasion rehearsal. South Korean and U.S. officials have said that the drills are purely defensive in nature.

While the South Korean propaganda blared pop music, news and descriptions of  Jong Un's bad haircuts, the North Koreans' brand of propaganda consisted of criticism directed at Seoul, recipes for mud soup and some symphony music composed by Leader For Life Kim Jong Un, "Ode To The People's Cabbages."

UPDATE:
Apparently North Korea has deployed  most of its submarine fleet. South Korea is getting nervous.

The mystery of 50 missing North Korean submarines deepened fears yesterday over Pyongyang’s threat to fire across the border.

South Korea yesterday said the submarines, comprising about 70 per cent of a North Korean submarine fleet, had left their home ports and were nowhere to be found.

US and South Korean reconnaissance planes and naval vessels searched yesterday off the east and west coasts of the Korean peninsula for the submarines. Military officials said deployment of the submarines was the largest in the region since the Korean War.

The question is whether the 50 submarines, 1,400-ton Romeo-class and 1,000-ton Whiskey-class vessels, have orders to target commercial or naval vessels – or are just putting on a show of force. “No one knows,” said a military spokesman. “We are mobilising all our surveillance resources.”

Kim Jong Un And The Full Metal Jacketed Enema

Someone needs to turn this insane little prick into compost.
From CBS News: 

North Korea Official: Kim Jong Un Approves ‘Final Attack Operation’ On South Kore

PYONGYANG, North Korea (CBS News/CBSDC/AP) — A North Korean military official said on Friday that senior party and defense officials led by North Korean leader Kim Jong Un met Thursday night and “reviewed and approved the final attack operation.”

The move came after Thursday saw the most serious confrontation between the rivals in years. The official gave no details about what kind of military retaliation North Korea would see as appropriate for South Korea’s shelling of its territory on Thursday.

However, Kim Yong Chol, director of the general reconnaissance bureau of the North Korean army, denied Friday that North Korea had fired across the Demilitarized Zone and said South Korea had not offered conclusive evidence of where a rocket would have come from. He suggested South Korea may have made a human error in its assessment of events and that its decision to retaliate was dangerous and rash.

“Skirmishes can lead to all-out war,” Chol said.

South Korea’s defense minister Han Minkoo on Friday warned North Korea that it would face “searing” consequences if it launched fresh provocation.

“This time, we’ll cut off a vicious circle of North Korean provocation,” Minkoo said, adding that Seoul was closely cooperating with the U.S. to deter potential aggression by North Korea.

Early on Friday, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un declared his frontline troops in a “quasi-state of war,” and ordered them to prepare for battle.a

Yeah, yeah, yeah .... this has been going on for decades, first under the elder poofy-haired murderous prick and now under his hellish spawn. Take out Kim Jong Un and you spill the whole bowl of kimchi. End of extensive US involvement once ROK forces wipe up the mess. Yeah, yeah China this and China that. Piss on 'em. If they mobilize we cut them off at the economic level - try selling all your cheap crap to the Mexicans once we lean on your biggest trade partners (S. Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Germany and Australia).

Time to end it. Almost 30,000 American GI's are being used as a trip wire in case this loon decides to go into full tilt Sudetenland mode. It's expensive too.

The cost to taxpayers of supporting U.S. troop levels in South Korea is significant. The
Department of Defense (DOD) estimates that non-personnel U.S. costs in South Korea were nearly $1.1 billion in Fiscal Year 2012 – and that figure does not include more than $2 billion in U.S. military personnel costs or hundreds of millions of dollars in South Korean contributions intended to offset U.S. costs.

~Office of the Under Secretary of Defense (Comptroller)/Chief Financial Officer, Operation and Maintenance Overview Fiscal Year 2013 Budget Estimates (February 2012).

I'm not saying we should cut and run. We should have removed the reason why we're there in the first place. And of course this is all predicated on someone growing balls in the US government.

It's Howdy Dowdy Time

What's the problem? The Mooslims already set their clocks back 1400 years.

On August 15, the clocks in North Korea will go back half an hour. The country will officially enter a new time zone which it itself has created – according to the country's official KCNA news agency, it will be dubbed 'Pyongyang Time.' As with much of what the North Korean state does, the new time zone is being framed as a triumph over imperial history. Pointedly, Pyongyang Time will begin on 70th anniversary of Korea's liberation from Japanese occupation.

Story here.

Really...

After an all night binge on beer, pizza and peyote, an Indonesian charity decided to give their "world peace" award to North Korea's Psychopath-in-Chief Kim Jong-un.

Sukarno Education Foundation insists claims of human rights abuse in North Korea are "Western propaganda"

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un is no stranger to dubious accolades and has already been crowned Supreme Military Commander, National Defence Chairman and First Secretary of the Worker's Party.

This week, it emerged that Mr Kim is to receive yet another prestigious title - though for once it has not been bestowed by the North Korean state.

All members of the North Korean World Peace Award Committee were executed last month in a sudden outbreak of western propaganda.

Instead he is in line for an international award extolling his "peace, justice and humanity" thanks to an Indonesian charity.

It is the second unusual award to be bestowed upon the North Korean leader, who was crowned TIME magazine's Person of the Year in 2012 after the public vote was hijacked by internet pranksters.

Story here.

North Korean President Until-He's-Not Jong-un inspects the latest ultimate weapon of mass destruction by which he will rule the planet – the "Ramen Butterscotch Noodles Of Death.” The noodle technician and his family were immediately taken outside the factory and subjected to western propaganda.

North Korea Makes A Splash

... out of it's Defense Minister.

The North Korean homicidal boy-President-for Life has a new toy - the ZPU-4.

A top North Korean defense minister was publicly executed by a firing squad using anti-aircraft guns before a crowd of hundreds, according to reports citing South Korean intelligence sources.

The news comes weeks after North Korea executed a group of 15 senior officials, in the latest sign that leader Kim Jong-un is cracking down on his internal ranks.

The brutal execution of Hyon Yong-chol — the head of the North Korea’s People’s Armed Forces and the No. 2 military official — came after he was seen falling asleep at a military event where Kim was speaking and refused to carry out Kim’s instructions, a senior intelligence official told the South Korean Yonhap news agency.  

The execution occurred on April 30 but was not revealed to South Korean members of parliament until Wednesday, Yonhap added.

Story here.

Satellite imagery seems to support the notion that North Korea is using soft, pink target material in training exercises involving large caliber munitions. 

Sometime on or about October 7th, 2014, some very unusual activity was noted on satellite imagery of the Kanggon small arms firing range. Instead of troops occupying the firing positions on the range there was a battery of six ZPU-4 anti-aircraft guns lined up between the firing positions and the range control/viewing gallery. The ZPU-4 is an anti-aircraft gun system consisting of four 14.5mm heavy machine guns (similar to a U.S. .50 caliber heavy machine gun) mounted on a towed wheeled chassis. It is neither safe nor practical to use such weapons on a small arms range, as the combined weight of fire from the six ZPU-4 (a total of 24 heavy machine guns) would quickly destroy the downrange backstop and necessitate reconstruction. A few meters behind the ZPU-4s there appears to be either a line of troops or equipment, while farther back are five trucks (of various sizes), one large trailer, and one bus. This suggests that senior officers or VIPs may have come to observe whatever activity was taking place. Most unusual in the image, perhaps, is what appears to be some sort of targets located only 30 meters downrange of the ZPU-4s.

The ZPU-4 has an effective range of 5 miles and can shoot over 3 miles straight up. But these "training" targets are located only 100 feet down range.

Lights Out

North Korean Wingnut-in-Chief Kim Jung-un was unable to update his Facebook page yesterday as the interweb tubes serving his country wilted like week old kimchi left in the sun. From Fox News:

Prominent North Korean websites were back online Tuesday after an hours-long shutdown that led to speculation by some researchers and web watchers that the country's Internet connections could be under cyberattack.

South Korean officials told the Associated Press that Internet access to the North's official Korean Central News Agency and the Rodong Sinmun newspaper were working normally Tuesday after being inaccessible earlier. Those sites are the main channels for official North Korea news, with servers located abroad.

The outage came less than a week after the U.S. vowed an unspecified response to a massive hacking attack against Sony Pictures Entertainment over the release of the comedy film "The Interview." The plot of the comedy centers on the assassination of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, leading to widespread speculation that the country was responsible for the attack. Late last week, the FBI publicly blamed North Korea in the incident, though Pyongyang has denied involvement.

The White House and the State Department on Monday declined to say whether the U.S. government had any role in North Korea's Internet problems.

Gee, I wonder how that happened? The Washington Times has a clue:

In the shadows of the Sony hacking incident and North Korea’s massive Internet outage, the Pentagon has quietly built a multibillion-dollar cyberwarfare capability and trained its commanders to integrate these weapons into their battlefield plans.

U.S. Cyber Command was officially stood up in 2010, based at Fort Meade in the Maryland suburbs of the nation’s capital, consolidating intelligence and cyberwarfare capabilities of the Army, Air Force, Navy and Marines under one house. Soon, billions of dollars were being invested in the concept that cyberattackers targeting America should be prepared to sustain their own damage.

[...]While the U.S. government remained mum Monday on whether it was behind Pyongyang’s downed Internet service, it offered a clear and confident message that the Pentagon is equipped to conduct such offensive operations in cyberspace.

Army Lt. Col. Valerie Henderson, a Pentagon spokeswoman, said the Defense Department constantly prepares to counter cyberthreats. State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf described the U.S. retaliation against North Korea for the Sony hack this way: “Some will be seen. Some may not be seen.”

Perhaps this is the modern cyber equivalent of a shot across the bows. Or a slap across the ass.

Dennis Rodman On Suicide Watch

North Korea has decided to close it's borders to all tourists because of the threat of Ebola.

Insiders state that this measure was actually taken due to disastrous overcrowding in North Korean prison camps. In the Hoeryong concentration camp, barbed wire is now rationed (Minimum Daily Requirement has been reduced to 13mm a day) and prisoners must make reservations to starve to death.

North Korean Tour Guides Explain That The Tourist Center Is Closed.

(Reuters) - North Korea will bar entry to foreigners on tourist trips from Friday because of worries over the spread of the deadly Ebola virus, operators of tours to the isolated country told Reuters.

[...]It was not immediately clear if the North Korean ban also covered non-tourist members of the diplomatic or business community with ties to Pyongyang.

"We have just received official news from our partners in the DPRK that, as of tomorrow, tourists from any country, regardless of where they have recently visited, will not be permitted to enter," said Gareth Johnson of Young Pioneer Tours, a travel company based in China that runs tours in North Korea.

H/T Weasel Zippers

North Korean Nut Job

In a stunning exhibition of barbarity, Premier Kim Jong-Un had his uncle and five of his advisers torn to shreds and devoured by a pack of starving dogs.
From the Daily Mail:

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un sentenced his uncle to be eaten alive by a pack of 120 wild dogs in a savage punishment for treachery, it has been claimed.

Jang Song-Thaek, 67, along with five close aides, was stripped naked and thrown into a cage of hounds which had been starved for three days, according to new details emerging from China.

The pack of animals spent more than an hour mauling the group in a punishment called 'quan jue', or execution by dogs, a report in Chinese newspaper Wen Wei Po said.

The Premier Kim Jong-Un is changing his name to Kim Tin Tin. It is hard to believe that this man was educated in Europe. Unless he went to the same boarding school as Hitler.

Unlike previous executions of political prisoners, which were carried out by firing squads with machine guns, this extraordinary sentence seems to have been specially reserved for the most hated in North Korean society.

The report in the Chinese language newspaper said the entire process was supervised by the supreme leader in North Korea, along with 300 senior officials - a clear warning against anyone challenging Kim's leadership.

This man is nuttier than a squirrel's asshole.
Look to see a new reality show, Kim's House of Horrors.