December 19, 2009

Global Cheese-ing

Fatal Fumes from Fromage Factories...

Say it isn't so! "...the production of a 1.5 ounce serving of cheese might be expected to produce around 16 ounces of carbon dioxide equivalent". And that's before you even eat it!

The responsible cheese-eater gets THIS advice from "Slate".

New Products

"What Axelrod and I had in mind is something your factories can bang out by the millions...a little Obama doll, maybe in a toga or a Speedo....I'm tellin' you...what was your name again? This will be big, really big! We'll get WalMart to sign on. Mail order? You never saw such a deal, Wang...Wing, whatever!"

Prairie Home Anti-Semite

I never liked this dough-faced clod to begin with, so this is easy. Affecting the manner of the stereotypical rural American of the first half of the last century, in print, on-stage and over the air-waves Garrison Keillor disgorged inside jokes, homilies and snark that amused urban philistines and manques in every liberal pest hole from Vermont to California.

He's an orifice, although a successful one. Pandering to elitist liberal conceits and nourishing their cruelty and viciousness is (or was) a post-war industry of enormous proportions. Today, public radio and TV, and the occasional podium in Cambridge linger like some lost outposts after a catastrophe, waiting for instructions from the home office - reading from the same old dispatches to a world that is moving on and figuring these poseurs out.

Read THIS. Keillor doesn't like Jews writing Christmas songs.

December 17, 2009

South Korean Opposition to Republicans: You are Weenies.

Hey, could you pass me that credenza to put in front of D. Harry's office? Thanks. And make sure those 12 chairs are stacked up in front of Sanders' hole. Good work.

A Great and Funny Day in the Senate

Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) had a great day yesterday.

First, using Senate rules he required the Senate Clerk to read the 767-page amendment spelling by Bernie Sanders, the Socialist from VT, spelling out a single-payer, government-run health-care system.

Sanders then angrily scurried to the floor and pulled the amendment. Funny and strange. But more funny. It violated Senate rules for Sanders to do so (rules required the entire amendment to be read, even if it did inflict the entire chamber with narcolepsy and/or nightmares). Still, for comedic relief, perhaps we can forgive the Demos/Socialistas/Same Thing on this one.

Then, going for the comedic, pointy-toed-kick-to-the groin double-header sweep, Sen. Coburn proposed an amendment that each senator certify that he/she has read the bill and also understands it. No fooling. But it's even better than that. Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT) objected. You can't make this up.

The only thing that bothers me about this grand day is that I have to give credit to Oklahoma ... for giving America Sen. Coburn. But I will. Sen. Coburn is about as good as there is in Washington.

The Demos are imploding, ladies and gentlemen. But stay vigilant. It appears that Harry Reid is planning some sort of midnight vote on Christmas Eve -- about the time when Jacob Marley paid Scrooge a visit.

December 16, 2009

Maybe You've Heard It

(...but it's worth reading again)

Human Arm and Bicep Movements from da Vinci's journal

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects - Robert Heinlein

December 15, 2009

Massachusetts, 1844

In March of 1844, Ralph Waldo Emerson delivered a lecture in Boston's Amory Hall which, when published, was entitled "New England Reformers". His lecture got him into trouble with the firebrands and bomb-throwers in his audience, because although Emerson was first among them, he argued against group action, or what was then called Concert or Association, and in favor of the enlightened individual acting alone. This was heresy to those who idealized "the people" rather than "the person".

Emerson's revolutionary milieu, described in his lecture, included those who wanted to abolish marriage, those who wanted to abolish money, and those who claimed diet was the mainspring of good or bad behavior. Don't eat meat or leavened bread. Another movement sought to liberate all beasts of burden from the yoke; a lot of people wanted to eliminate mechanical transportation, including trains and wagons.

Still another, group maintained that "Even the insect world was to be defended - that had too long been neglected - and a society for the protection of ground worms, slugs and mosquitos was to be incorporated without delay". Homeopathy and socialism was popular in this circle, vocations like lawyer, minister, merchant, manufacturer, scholar were not. Emerson tells us that a man who was excommunicated from his church for abolitionist ideas, publically ex-communicated his church. This was, after all, Massachusetts.

Education and Socialism (which had established itself in three Massachusetts communities fell to Emerson's condemnation.

Education: The popular education has been taxed with a want of truth and nature. We are students of words, we are shut up in schools and colleges and recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years and come out at last with a bag of wind, a memory of words and do not know a thing. We cannot use our hands, or our legs, or our eyes or our arms. We do not know an edible root in the woods, we cannot tell our course by the stars. It is well if we can swim and skate. We are afraid of a horse, or a cow, of a dog, of a snake, of a spider. The Roman rule was to teach a boy nothing that he could not learn standing...I notice too, that the ground on which eminent public servants urge the claims of popular education is fear: "This country is filling up with thousands and millions of voters, and you must educate them to keep them from our throats"".

Socialism: " may easily be questioned whether such a [socialist] community will draw, except in its beginnings, the able and the good, whether those who have energy will not prefer their chance at superiority and power in the world to the humble certainties of the Association, whether such a retreat does not become an asylum to those who have tried and failed. I have failed and you have failed, but perhaps together we shall not fail. The candidate my party votes for is not to be trusted with a dollar but he will be honest in the Senate because we can bring public opinion to bear on him. All the men in the world cannot make a statue walk, cannot make a drop of blood or a blade of grass any more than one man can..."

The more things change, the more they remain the same. Collectivists have been trying to work their dread magic for a long time, under the cloak of "Reform". Emerson was a reformer who wanted to reform the person first, because without private virtue there is no public virtue, and no society is good unless individuals are good, and no society is free unless the individual is free.

Thought for Tuesday

Hugh Kingsmill (1944), from "The Poisoned Crown "
"What is divine in man is elusive and impalpable, and he is easily tempted to embody it in a collective form - a church, a country, a social system, a leader, so that he may realize it with less effort and serve it with more profit...Yet the attempt to externalize The Kingdom of Heaven in a temporal form must end in disaster. It cannot be created by charters or constitutions, nor established by arms. Those who set out for it alone will reach it together, and those who seek it in company will perish by themselves"

December 14, 2009

Thoughts on a Monday

Three From Chesterton...

"Progress is a comparative for which we have not settled the superlative" (1905)

"Men invent new ideals because they dare not attempt old ideals. They look forward with enthusiasm because they are afraid to look back" (1910)

"Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to that arrogant oligarchy who merely happen to be walking around" (1908)

December 13, 2009

For That Very Special Occasion

Jolly Old Saint Nick Looking Through Your Bedroom Window

We love Christmas. But we realize that tempers can flare over this frantic holiday. So we here at Goomba Central have prepared this list of non-blasphemous stress relievers for that very special occasion. They're from "A Christmas Story", shaken in the air and proven to make you feel better. I feel better just reading them to myself...

"You wart mundane noodle"!

"You schottin' shiskafaskafa!"

"You snort tunger"!

"Lay munger snacka shacocker"!


"You filthy piston helkin"!

"You whip mauker"!

"Smelly wump wustler"!

"Grab dump fratin' house stickel fifer"!

"You bladder pussnot grapah"!

"You dortin' donobado"!

For that VERY SPECIAL OCCASION, reserved for some mechanical device that chooses to malfunction at the worst moment, memorize this:

"Ah, blasted! You two blurt rattle flat camel flirt! You blotta battle beast jerdoff brat! Stanna once bradda fradda ratta ratta smelly wump wussler! Drab dump frattin house stickel fifer!"

You feel better already, don't you?

The Prince of First Person Singular...