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March 22, 2010

Homo Obamicus

The Unknown Citizen



To Social Security Account Number 067-01-9818 This Marble Monument Is Erected By The State

He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all of the reports on his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.
Except for the war, till the day he retired
He worked in one factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors, Inc.,
Yet was neither a scab nor odd in his views,
For his Union reports that he paid his dues
(Our report of his Union says it was sound).

And our Social Psychology workers found
He was popular with his mates and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day,
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way,
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,
And a certificate shows that he was once in hospital but left it cured.
Both Producers Research and High Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Installment Plan,
And had everything necessary to The Modern Man -
A Victrola, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.

Our investigators into Public Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for the time of year;
When there was peace, he was for peace; when there was war, he went.
He was married and added five children to the population,
Which our eugenist says, was the right number for a parent of his generation,
And our teachers report that he never interfered in their education.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd;
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.

W.H. Auden (1940)



8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I knew him well. We shared a passion for collecting things. I was concerned for years that he had a 41.8% chance of contracting cancer and an inconvenient 100% chance of death. He was replaced immediately.

Rhod said...

He was interchangeable. The greatest triumph of liberalism is standardization and disposability.

Velcro said...

To the courts we must aggressively go, and then the polls in November.

Anonymous said...

Classic. Thanks, Rhod. Wow ... the most literate blogger in the blogosphere ... right here.

Rhod said...

DC, the value of a lib arts education 45 years ago. I didn't use it until blogs came along.

Anonymous said...

Rhod, I feel the same way about my sarcasm.

Rhod said...

Nick, I used my lib arts ed on my six former wives. They didn't get it. The big curlers filtered everything useful.

Susannah said...

ugh. horrible...