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January 4, 2013

Hammers And Tire Irons And Clubs... Oh My!


For the Love of God outlaw semiautomatic/pneumatic assault hammers! Why in the world do you need a hammer that can fire 60 nails per minute? And no nails bigger than 10d!

Bring Stanley and Estwing to justice!

The above Looking Spoon graphic was brought to you courtesy of the FBI's 2011 Annual Uniform Crime Report .

Oh the HORROR!



9 comments:

Gorges Smythe said...

GASP!

USA_Admiral said...

Hammers are cheaper too. They could be considered an automatic weapon too.

Kid said...

I recommend that all hammers be equipped with GPS, speed sensors, moisture sensors, bangometers, cameras, and black boxes, so when one smashes into someone's skull we'll know about it and can investigate the heck out of it.

Kid said...

PS - Fines for any hammer not found to be locked in a Hammer Safe until absolutely needed.

sig94 said...

Mandatory six hour hammer safety courses will be offered by the National Carpentry Association (NCA) for all persons interested in owning a hammer, fir it is far, far better to have a hammer and not need one than to need a hammer and not have one.

Opus #6 said...

Outlaw horseless carriages.

Doom said...

I'm always armed with my two deadliest weapons, and they are far more lethal than all but the big guns. Here is the least of the two but don't underestimate, and this is the absolute killer.

They are trying to outlaw these too, with mindlaws and thinkcontrol. But... yeah... no.

WoFat said...

Bangometer? I thought that was a . . . well, never mind.

Nate said...

Go nuclear - use a dead-blow hammer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_blow_hammer).