May 2, 2013

Power To The Pizza

Please Sir, May I Have Another?
--   NO!  --

!!!111!!!  UPDATE  !!111!!!

It suddenly came to me while I was channeling Dan Rather.
This is too good not to be true! Therefore it is true!

It doesn't matter that sliced pepperoni was not invented until after Bloomberg asked for a second slice! It's still true!

It doesn't matter that Bloomberg was not elected Mayor until after asking for a second slice, it's still true!!

The Obnoxious Mayor Know-It-All of NYC got some of his own medicine today when eating lunch at pizza shop.

He asked the owner for a second slice and was refused.
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg was denied a second slice of pizza today at an Italian eatery in Brooklyn.

The owners of Collegno's Pizzeria say they refused to serve him more than one piece to protest Bloomberg's proposed soda ban,which would limit the portions of soda sold in the city.

Bloomberg was having an informal working lunch with city comptroller John Liu at the time and was enraged by the embarrassing prohibition. The owners would not relent, however, and the pair were forced to decamp to another restaurant to finish their meal.

Witnesses say the situation unfolded when as the two were looking over budget documents, they realized they needed more food than originally ordered.

"Hey, could I get another pepperoni over here?" Bloomberg asked owner Antonio Benito.

"I'm sorry sir," he replied, "we can't do that. You've reached your personal slice limit."
Bloomy got all bent out of shape.
"OK, that's funny," he remarked, "because of the soda thing ... No come on. I'm not kidding. I haven't eaten all morning, just send over another pepperoni."

"I'm sorry sir. We're serious," Benito insisted. "We've decided that eating more than one piece isn't healthy for you, and so we're forbidding you from doing it."

"Look jackass," Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling, "I fucking skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza. Don't be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some fucking pizza, okay."

"I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do," the owner repeated. "Maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each. At least that way you're walking. You know, burning calories."

Witnesses say a fuming Bloomberg and a bemused Liu did indeed walk down the street to a rival pizzeria , ordered another slice and finished their meeting.
That's what is called comeuppence.

More here.

Apparently the Daily Currant is a satirical web site and the above is an example of their craft. Rats. As usual, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.


Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Shoot, the nanny really needs that.

Doom said...

I was really hoping. Perhaps this will give someone an idea though. That IS what it will take, but all it will take. The thing is, people fear politicians, billionaire ones more so.

Subvet said...

From "The Cowboys" circa 1972:
Charlie Schwartz - Cowboy: [in awe] Is that true?

Jebediah Nightlinger: If it isn't, it oughta be.

sig94 said...

I think we should still run with this ala the TANG fiasco with Bush 41 and wattzisname from Cee the Bull S**t network news - Dan Rather.

It's too good not to be true.

Kid said...

I was loving it til the end there.